Running in place

There seems to be a way that my choosing to pursue my own goals has made the immediacy of everyone else’s goals and all my other obligations loom larger. I am in a space where every. single. thing. feels like a request of me, most of which I don’t want to fulfill. This is to say, things have been super extra busy at work, so much do that I’m tempted to quit.

For this, and other reasons (aka excuses) I have been making glacial progress on my projects.

I have two simple goals: financial abundance and writing a book. On the first, I’ve engaged an apartment broker, but been unable to pin him down to a specific time to meet with me (probably because this is in the “doing a friend a favor” category in his mind, which I should try to move it out of). On the second, I have begun to do research by downloading relevant academic papers but haven’t finished reading the first one as I had hoped to by now.

Mostly I’ve just been feeling stressed and put upon by my job and it’s impacting everything else.

Advertisements

Emileah week 3

This time flies if we’re not intentional with it.   I haven’t been writing every day, and I definitely need to create more support for myself around this goal.  I am setting a recurring alarm right now to write in the evening, and I am going to start using the Self-Journal again.  It’s a great resource, and when I reference it, it really keeps me on task.  

Otherwise, I did run a 5k this week, and had a great time (for me).  I scheduled and completed a run with a friend, which was awesome.  I am still really far from my goal of completing the half marathon, but I am running more than I was.  I also paid off my credit card, which was really exciting, and gave me a renewed sense of possibility around my finances. 

Lastly, I moved up my therapy goal and have a third appointment with her this morning.  I think this is helping me to identify a lot of past pain that’s been buried and I am loving sorting through and letting it go. 

Thanks for the support, team!

Up and Down Week 

These are cycles, if anything, show me where I’m at, especially when it’s time to blog. What I’ve noticed about my past is the ways I avoid. This week I had yet another business trip and another opportunity to avoid. Before I realized that half of the week was gone and I hadn’t begun reading the book I have as my goal. Not only that, but when I returned I realized that I had lost my book. During the two-day window when I was back home I did accomplish quite a bit of de-cluttering my apartment. Focusing on the closet in the living room, I made about 6 trips to the dumpster. At one point during the process it looked as though my entire living room was a junkyard. After a while, I felt a bit overwhelmed and ended up putting much of what I had taken out back in the closet. I had mixed feelings about what I had accomplished. On one hand I had disposed of quite a bit of stuff but on the other I hadn’t fully completed the task before I was going away on my weekend vacation. As I prepared for my trip on Friday, I informed my buddy that I had lost my book. I ordered a new one on Amazon but knew the entire weekend was lost in terms of doing any reading or exercises I had planned on. I’m finding that historically I have been letting entire days and weeks slip by without accomplishing tasks that I have set out to do. This includes this blog which is now over four and a half hours late. I have really great excuses as to why I didn’t do it earlier this evening, or even at some point during the day but the reality is I didn’t make it a priority. I’ve got to figure out what it is that has me avoid these successes. At the same time I don’t want to finish this blog in beat up mode. To date I have completed more than I would have in these two areas if I had not become a part of this group. I declare that I will recommit to my goals and do better this week, using my past as only a gauge as to where I am at in this moment. 

Diving deep

First day back at work after vacation a bit rough. After midnight, still at the office and running late with my blog post. Eugh!

My stats after 2 weeks:
Fitness goal: 188.4 lb, down 6.6 lb. Solid fitness effort, average of 16k steps daily, hiking, scrambling and spelunking. The challenge will be to keep up work outs routine now that I'm back sitting at the office every day.
Today was Day 1 of 10 of my reboot: I'll be juicing, with 80/20 veggie/fruit. No other foods. I watched a documentary 'Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead' on Hulu and got very inspired. The movie follows a journey of this overweight guy with myriad of health problems who decides to juice for 60 days and sees his med problems disappear and weight melt. He enrolled other people to try it, with similar astounding results. I've done juice fasts in the past but never longer than 3-5 days and the idea of doing 10 days seems very stretchy, but according to the movie, to get full detox benefits, a body needs a minimum of 10 straight days of juicing, so here I come! Day 1 went well, easy, no hunger, no temptations, just sitting at the office working and drinking delicious green juice.

Social goal: all week on vacation, very social overall.

ready to be done

I am finally finished working at my [previous] company and today was the first day i was at home. I woke up late which was awesome and made a nice breakfast…. but I’m stilllllll working on this project. It’s a lot, and i am so ready to be done with it. I’m still waiting on a date to come in and present this (lots of back and forth with them), which is dangerous because i feel like the longer i have the more stuff i want to do. I go from changing the entire layout to changing all the sketches and colors.

I went to two different art supply stores today to get the perfect red marker…..

this is crazy

But {sigh} i finally decided i had to put it down today and thats when i decided to write this here.

So i am definitely working on goal #1, but goal #2 is taking serious backseat. I have been good about saving money on laundry and groceries but feel like there may be some other  corners i’m not looking at….. maybe the fact that i spent $36  on pens and markers today wasn’t the brightest…. but i did find the perfect red marker!!!!

 

 

Short, Sweet and To The Point

My goals don’t currently include a fitness or weight loss goal, but I am working out as soon as I drop my daughter off to school on most school days and I am seeing my body change.  I am feeling myself getting stronger mentally and from a confidence perspective too…..as the outside changes the inside is too, and its cool to experience.  I use to run half marathons and ran the Chicago Marathon (26.2 baby!) and was always in extremely good shape until about my mid 30s and I am really driven to get back there ….and I am approaching it fiercely.

Goal number one is a meditation goal combined with acts of daily kindness…..I experience myself as happier when focusing on the acts of daily kindness….lighter, smiling more, more peaceful, more joyful.  My favorite last week was acknowledging this trainer at the Lifetime Gym I workout at….I see him caring about the people he is working with, really going the extra mile and exuding such positve, joyful and powerful energy.  I think it meant something to him that someone recognized these strengths and took the time to tell him they noticed.  The meditation part of this goal has not been as big of a focus and I get to change that this week.

Goal number two is being brave.  I love this goal too because I am not only pushing myself to be brave in moments, but I am also getting to see where I am already being brave and it makes me feel good to see and be able to acknowledge this in/for myself.  I also love the feeling of knowing that I am a brave person….it feels freeing and I feel proud.

Off to put a two, almost three year old to bed!  Hope you all are having a very powerful week and making things work so you can reach the goals in front of  you.

XO,

Creatrice

Break down and starting again

This week has had a lot of ups and downs.  Due to schedules and not taking the value of my time, I have been running around and not meeting the goals I set out for myself.

Some of my goals last week were not met.  Health and personal.  Whereas the week prior I was able to reach all my goals, this past week I only completed parts of it and had to take a look at how putting aside my responsible to myself had affected my team members.

However, with breakdown comes new possibilities and to shift, I have to rededicate myself to my goals.  Since it helps with supporting my team with theirs.