This week was a comeback from last week which was brutal for me. I am gradually adopting to my habits and goals again. Usually I would give up on everything I built up once something bad happens. “It’s finals week” or “I am really sick now”, “So I better stop exercising, cooking, socializing, and hygiene because reasons.”
This did not serve me then and it does not serve me now. For the first time in weeks I started watching lectures again. I am also maintaining my idea journal almost daily and I started martial arts training again (WHICH WAS FUCKIN AWESOME!!!) I also looked for ways to make things work. If I am too mentally tired after work to study science, I can still read books and learn something more mild.
I am also starting to really acknowledge myself. My job is not only mentally stimulating but I KICK ASS AT IT! Both of my bosses want to keep me as a consultant when I’m in grad school. I’m also working on something totally awesome and will make a lot of people very happy (and me wealthy). Will share it in detail when possible. That is the goal I wanted all along and I do it even better by working a little bit less, to teach myself more.
For my health goal, I first ran into the problem of being too sore to keep working out…but isn’t that the point? It means that I really put myself out there. Just like I am doing at work. Once things calm down there I will work fewer hours to cement the habits I want and then jump back in.
What’s helping me stop the either/or conversation is the following tale: two lumberjacks competing to see who chops trees faster. The first one just started cutting down trees right away, but the other first took a break to sharpen his ax. The first one got tired but the second just kept on going. I guess that’s just another way integrity shows up in life.