The Deep Questions

I’ve been having profound spiritual experiences on the regular. Sometimes it feels so intense and I would like for it to slow down. But most times I search for it, with hunger, eager for the next new bit of information about myself, about the universe. I just finished reading The Celestine Prophecy. It’s blown my mind. It’s up there with my top three favorite books.  I think it is aligned with Advanced Ed work and many times while reading the book I wondered if the people who designed the Advanced Ed “technology,” as Kathy use to say, read the book.

I learned that all my life all I have been searching for boils down to one question, can we be spiritual beings from a logical, grounded place? Can we be realistically spiritual, have a grounded spirituality, a centered freedom?  I’m revisiting spiritual experiences I had as a child from this context and realizing that I’ve always needed my spirituality to come with an explanation. I never connected with the blind faith my mom had in Catholicism. I started saying I was agnostic at the age of 12. I minored Philosophy in college. It’s really interesting to look back at myself and think about how I made important life choices based on this question.

This is what I believe I can offer people as a healer. Grounded spirituality. That is why I’m not just calling myself a healer, I am going to get a Masters in Contemplative Psychotherapy. I am taking the Academic route. It’s not because I think I need the certification, but because I want find the middle ground between spirituality and logic. I want to bring both worlds together. And I’m studying Contemplative Psychotherapy because I want to bring eastern and western philosophy and psychology together. I believe we all ready have all the answers about how to heal people. We just have integrated them all into one system. I had a vision yesterday that I would get my PhD with a focus on spiritual implications for mental illness. I pictured myself as Doctor Guzman giving a Ted Talk on how to cure mental illness doing spiritual work.  My healer vision is evolving!

Every time I do a healing session I gain more insight about how people work, about how I work, about how I can guide people. There is no doubt in me that this is my work. So as PSP life 3 is coming to a close, even though I’ve done about half the things I said I would do by now, I feel successful. I’ve evolved. And I know I’m exactly where I should be with this.

Stats-

  • I finally ordered my business cards. They are really beautiful and I’m so excited to start sharing them. I’m intending that they arrive before I final meeting so I could show you guys!
  • I had one healing session
  • Therapy with bro is going well and our relationship is improving day by day. Today we sat together and watched old videos of when we were kids. My brother’s perspective of himself is that he’s always been a fuckup. While we were watching the videos I kept kindly reassuring that he just had his own unique personality and that nothing was ever wrong with him. It was really nice to see him take it on himself. His self-esteem is improving greatly. I’m being careful to not let myself get too attached to “saving him.” Though a lot of what I’m doing, and my way of being with him is impacting him positively, he has had to be ready for this himself. He’s the one doing the work for himself. Not me. I don’t want to get caught in the usual hero martyr thing my nerd does.

Next week

  • I’m putting it out there, the universe, telling friends, FB :-P, that I am offering private yoga instruction.
  • Maybe I’ll feel inspired to start sharing my poetry on website or instagram. I’ve been feeling it coming but not ready just yet. I even made an instagram just for my poetry but haven’t shared it.
  • Didn’t make it to spa with family this week because of schedules. Or more like my intention wasn’t clear enough. Getting clear with family about it happening next weekend.
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One thought on “The Deep Questions

  1. Just wanted to say that this:

    “I’m being careful to not let myself get too attached to ‘saving him’.”

    is a really fantastic insight, and it’s awesome that you keep it in mind.

    Like

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