I knew when I took on the PSPLife commitment and when I committed to getting my business off the ground in 2015 that I would be committing to a lot. I knew when I put together my PSP that it was ambitious. I knew all of this would be a lot given that I have a baby under a year of age.
In the past if I did not meet my goals, which I have not met a lot of by our first deadline, there was a lot of guilt and heaviness. I have guilt around not having met my goals, but I am choosing not to stay there. I acknowledge that I haven’t met the goals I outlined, and am rolling up my sleeves to start a new day. Still very determined to meet my commitments even though the shorter term goals were not met. Bottom line I will get there.
There were several things I did accomplish, working on my business plan and reaching out to friends to identify a coach/counselor even though I really didn’t want to start this process. I am emotionally very strung out and very limited on time, so digging in to something like this is not something that I am fully wanting to do. It is however very important and we must move forward with it.
I continue to find myself sleep deprived and also with a baby that is becoming increasingly more mobile, I am very busy. I love this baby girl with all of my heart and at the same time I feel like I am so limited in the amount of time that is truly my own. Having been focused on myself and my own needs for 40 years, it is sometimes challenging not to be able to focus on my own stuff when I need or want to. I would give up my time any day of the week for my beautiful little girl, it would however be nice to be able to strike more of a balance however. To be able to focus on myself and my own initiatives as much as I am focusing on taking care of others. It will happen.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I get to start getting to bed before 10 and as close to 9 as I can. Even if this isn’t a desirable time, it will help to set me up better on sleep which will set me up better to tackle everything I have committed to.