Noticing Sooner

Today, I will practice noticing sooner. Noticing sooner when I am procrastinating or not being proactive at work.  Noticing when I am overeating (why were there 4 separate delicious desserts at work today?  The struggle is real, people).  Notice when I start to have self-sabotaging thoughts, noticing when I have judgmental thoughts, noticing when I am merely pleasing others, when I am over-analyzing unimportant things, when I don’t want to do something that will support me. Just notice.  Its the biggest step. Once you notice, choice is possible. There is the old automatic or, LOOK!, another option!

  1. I will choose to be open, authentic, and energized about romance. I will not name our children, worry that I like him more, or hide my true feelings.  I will remember that great things take time.
  2. I will choose to be proactive at work. I will double check my work. I will step up every day.  I will practice professionalism no matter what.  I will create options for myself and choose where I will work.
  3. I will not hide in relationships with friends and family. If someone reaches out to me to do something I don’t want to do, I will change my mind or find another way to support them.
  4. I will be authentic, joyful, courageous, and vulnerable. I will trust. I know that I will always be ok. Ok, I mean AMAZING!

Love!

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3 thoughts on “Noticing Sooner

  1. Sweet!
    Being present really does take effort and practice.
    Can you make this your goal tomorrow, and the next day as well?

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  2. So, in Flight Club (coaching program I’m in with Red Elephant), one of our coaches is Nate Bagley, who founded the “Lovumentary.” He quit his job and spent a year traveling across the country to interview the most in-love couples who had been together for 10 years or more, to ask them about what works in their relationship(s). His come-from is that he’s a believer in true love that lasts — and while the media fills us with story after story of betrayal, lost love, etc., he wants to counteract that with stories of real, passionate love between two committed, long-time partners. ANYWAY, getting to the point (I do get there eventually), when he asked one of the women in one of the couples he interviewed what advice she had in light of her long, successful and passionate relationship, she said this was the most important thing: “Don’t be afraid to be the one who loves the most.”

    While I don’t have the credibility this woman has, I’m going to echo that, because at least in my relationship, that’s why it exists — Jimmy was not afraid to be the one who loves the most. He put himself ALL the way out there, while I was, like, clinging to my stuff for dear life, terrified to take a single step forward. His risking paved the way for us. I couldn’t say what the result would be for you in your current relationship to risk loving/caring more, and expressing that — I believe, though, that that can never really go wrong. If it does, it wasn’t the right person/relationship. If it IS the right person/relationship, you can’t screw it up — not by risking and loving too much. Jimmy freaked me out a couple of times, but, I wasn’t going anywhere. And that advice still supports me now; I still want to protect myself sometimes, even though as, authentically, all I want to do is give him as much love as I possibly can. But, I get afraid, so I hold back, and it hurts us. When I don’t, we flourish, both together and individually.

    Bottom line, I applaud your #1! I think it’s great that you’re committing yourself to that. And yeah, of course there’s a balance in terms of naming the children — but, you totally get to be excited, enthusiastic, happy, joyful, and loving.

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    1. Kudos to Jimmy! Love this thought.

      Em – Naomi and I had a similar situation. We’d dated and broken up, largely due to issues on my end, but I then worked hard to get Naomi back. She was uncertain, hesitant, and given what had occurred the first time, somewhat naturally holding back.
      I went in 100% and never wavered…was open, vulnerable, appreciative of her and the opportunity and held fast to the belief that I wanted to make my life with her.
      Naomi can describe her own experience with it herself, but I’m a firm believer that love is created when you give, and when you know the person you want to be with, you’re willing to give and give and give and give (then give some more), because that’s love and love and love and love (and even more love).
      If anything, what’s scary isn’t how vulnerable we are when we have this come from and act this way, what’s amazing is how powerful it is, and how creative (or in our case, reparative) it can be, and the way it makes you feel whole and connected with another person and with the world.

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