Libby1114 goals

Hello from Hyderabad!

I’m playing it safe and posting early since wifi has been hard to find. Please excuse typos as I am writing on my phone.

The past two weeks have been interesting. With significantly more on my plate than usual – both logistically and emotionally – it’s been interesting to see how I handle all of it and what my go-to responses are. I realize I am speaking as if I’m observing my own life, but that is often how I feel when I pay attention to either what choices I have made or am making. In breif, I would like to share what I noticed in relation to this group. In general, prioritised things based on the consequences of not doing it, before thinking about the potential postive outcomes of doing it. I prioritised the tasks that, if not completed, would end in an uncomfortable situation. For me, that means no opportunity for communication or resolution. For example, I made a 10 page manual listing every minor task that might need to be done in my absence at work (even though I don’t like my job and this was a very boring task) rather than write my blog post (which I enjoy, matters to me, and brings wanted results for my life). Subconsciously I knew that if I didn’t do this task at work and anything went wrong, the entire staff would gossip, be unpleasant, act passively agressively upon my return but then tell me everything is great. In contrast, even though it was more painful, I could manage the outcome of not posting last week by restoring integirty and dealing with my own feelings around it. Point being, I apologize for not posting last week. It is not that I don’t value this group or posting. Quite the opposite. I love reading your posts, being part of this group, and the momentum of the group, is very important to me. Now that I am in India I also realize that I won’t be able to read post or reply to any form of communication and I’m sorry for that – for myself, really, since I will miss out. Going forward, I will be more aware of the choices I make when things get busy and make sure to prioritise the tasks i take on based on my values and needs.

Being in India – and prior to that, being very busy – has made me minor goal easy! I have been breaking my addiction to unhealthy lifestyle choices and I’m very happy about it šŸ™‚ the question is really – can I do this when life goes back to normal…but I’ll appreciate what I can for now, look at the positive and work towards a better future.

I have been continuing to change me relationship with my career but at a slower pace that I want. I have been applying for jobs at local universities and just found a few more jobs to apply to. If you could connect me with anyone, it would help.

Since its about time for the release of #7…

May the 4s be with you!
E

P.s. I hope this made sence. I haven’t really slept in a while. If not, feel free to email me Qs and I’ll respond when I can

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One thought on “Libby1114 goals

  1. Ha! Yes, you did start off sounding like you were observing your own life, but you seem to have realized a powerful insight – that’s terrific.

    I also want to restore integrity with you. When you raised your trip to India and said that you still wishes to participate, I didnt act in your or our best interests. I suspect that being in PSPLife this cycle is a nicety for you, but that you may not gain very much from it.
    As is, you uncharacteristically missed a post, and now due to being VERY out of town, will miss both small group meetings. That’s not the way I see you playing PSPLife.
    For us, while I love the Beingness you bring to the group, there’s a function of participating as it was designed, and we’re missing you – both online and in person. I’m unclear that it served either you or us for you to participate this session.
    I don’t mean this harshly in the least – just the reality of this doesn’t seem to be working.
    My role should have been to raise the red flag when you brought up the trip and its duration. Instead, I was fearful of having too small a group for true impact, and of looking like the ‘bad’ or ‘mean’ one.
    I see each of us playing a powerful role in each other’s lives and serving the structure of PSPLife as well – creating support, impact, change, love, sensitivity, awareness and more.
    The structure I am putting in is to speak up, to raise awareness and ask questions, to do so in a neutral tone and ensure potential conflicts and issues are dealt with.

    Having said that, I will ask the question if you might not be better suited to sitting out the remainder of this session and posting journals if you wish.

    Like

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