It’s been a good and busy week, which is how I’d describe most weeks in my life! In fact, busy usually = good for me, I thrive on it. Add the extra layer of Chanukah, ending every night with beautiful flames and holiday singing, with a good measure of jelly doughnuts mixed in, and it’s an even better week. I am feeling ‘fried,’ though, no pun intended, and am looking forward to sleep and relaxation this weekend.
I started off the week with yoga on Sunday, which took EVERYTHING in me to get there. I pushed off the 10 am to hang with friends, the noon for a baby naming and the 2 pm for our small group meeting. By the time 4 pm rolled around I was in bed, tired and cranky. I FORCED myself to get up and at em for the 5 pm class. And I was glad I did. Loved the instructor (“close your eyes. You have no idea what’s coming. It could be anything! Could be easy! But you know it’s going to be another chair pose.”), felt energized by the room and was proud of myself for pushing. I wanted to go another time during the week but every night filled up, mostly with work events.
Focused on my communication a good amount by hearing myself speak. Found that I find myself at extremes – most of the time speaking powerfully and confidently, and some of the time speaking quietly and apologetically. One thing to know about me is that I do NOT like confrontation. I avoid it, get uncomfortable with it, and generally fear it. And yet, when the office manager at work came to me and told me someone on my floor complained that they could hear my music, my reaction was – so why didn’t they tell me? Who sends an office manager into my office to deliver that feedback? Is it that uncomfortable to say? The funny thing is, on my end it’s not that I would necessarily avoid that confrontation and I certainly wouldn’t deputize someone else to do it, but more likely I wouldn’t get frustrated in the first place. It’s not my come-from.
At dinner last night with friends (a married couple) someone asked us how often we fight. And before I could answer (um…practically never?) they said, like blow-out fight. And we looked at each other and said…not once…in 8 years. Of course, I’ve never blown out fought in my life! I think this is just my nature. Hope it doesn’t reflect bottled up feelings or lack of connection, but I don’t think it does. I think it’s my personality, and in this case, my relationship.
I also successfully gave feedback to two of my staff this week! One by email, since that’s how it originated, and one in person. Both received it remarkably well. (It wasn’t super negative feedback, but still…they not only received it well but seemed to welcome it). Happy that i’m getting more comfortable with it and that it can benefit their growth.
As for updates with the rest of my team, we hired a new person (!), I witnessed our other new person give a great presentation, and I helped facilitate a marriage proposal for the other!! It was so much fun!
Onto a RELAXING weekend – I can’t wait. Checked out two books and got some yummy treats.
in looking ahead to the next 15 days of the cycle, I had declared the following:
- Go to yoga once/week
- Explore yoga apps
- add 1x/week stretching or short yoga poses at home
- Begin 3 days/week with breathing and standing straight
- Write a reference about myself (as if it were for a job reference, not to actually send or publish!) speaking to my vulnerability, power and inspiration.
- Notice (by writing, or having people point out to me) when I speak powerfully AND vulnerably and when I don’t. What am I learning about how I show up? Where does my nerd play in?
- Have specific intention during one important meeting or interaction to speak with power and vulnerability. Reflect after on the experience.
Geez, did I really have to declare all that?? Well….time to get it done!!!