Tonight was yoga night, with 10 days lapsing since the last one. I’m still technically going once each week, I just chose to run on Sunday with Hadar instead. I was excited to find another branch of Yoga to the People right near my work – an avenue and a half away. Pretty perfect. Got there early, set up for success.
I walked in and immediately felt uncomfortable. First, it was a bajillion degrees in there. So much so that I literally asked the instructor if it was a hot yoga class. Nope, he said, just hot. It was a tiny narrow space and I took an open spot before realizing I should have migrated to the back. I like to be in the back (hiding). There was a ceiling fan right above me that was shaking and I swear, about to fall on my head. And yet. I stayed put.
The class was hard. As in, kicked my ass.I practically got a private lesson from the instructor as he kept coming over to correct my form. There were several poses he instructed that had me looking around wondering how any human being could position themselves in that way. Most I attempted; a few I skipped. It was a different type of yoga – core yoga. And it definitely worked my abs, and I made it to the end! But it was painful.
Let’s review my vision here. Yoga’s just the mechanism. Why am I doing yoga? 1) To loosen my body and increase comfort and intimacy with my own physical self. 2) to connect to my breathing to reach peace and inner quiet.
I’m not gonna lie; tonight I didn’t feel I was moving toward either one of these goals. This wasn’t a yoga instructor who said things like ‘wherever you are is perfect.’ He was good, don’t get me wrong, but rather than focusing on peace and breathing i was desperately trying to avoid falling on top of the person next to me. Talking to my buddy Mark today he said yoga and meditation are two sides of the same coin, and I believe that. But it wasn’t until the last 2 minutes that we even paused and focused on our breathing.
Incidentally, I had a stressful day at work and found myself taking deep breaths during the day. Not in a measured, paced way, but rather in a sharp, sudden way out of stress. I get to commit myself to driving my own breathing rather than the other way around.
And – I get to be patient! This is coming up a LOT for me. I am super impatient and it costs me peace, in addition to other things. Look at how far I’ve already come since the beginning of this cycle – continued commitment, patience, and no judgment will keep me going strong!