And, shift.

I somehow forgot my WordPress login and can’t seem to reset it. Now I’m locked out. Arghh. Also feeling like a cold is coming on so I’m not feeling myself. And I have lots to do in the next 1.5 hours before we head out of town for the weekend.

And, shift. This is something I’m working on a lot. In fact, I’ve been trying to work on shifting from the moment I started the training, and it’s difficult. I feel I internalized many other parts of the training but haven’t figured out how to force myself to shift in an instant. I can shift in the bigger picture, like I did around fundraising and running an organization, but struggle in the moment. I remember finding it so jarring during Basic when Kathy would snap in and out of tears and laughter and anger and compassion. Hadar said it was because of her authenticity, and at the time I wrote that off. But now I see it as a combination of authenticity and practice – doing the work.

This concept isn’t exactly related to my goals, but it’s related to everyday life, as are my goals – breathing, connecting, loosening, and speaking powerfully and vulnerably. I’m chugging along. It’s a cool process.

I wrote a few days ago, journaling my yoga experience. I like to write when it comes spilling out of me, and because I’m not yoga-ing or working on Fridays sometimes it’s harder to recall what I want to write about.

On the communication front, I’ve picked a few meetings to focus on my communication. I find they’re typically during one-on-ones, often when I’m meeting with someone to help them out – give them job advice, support their entrepreneurship, etc. But see, that’s where I already feel pretty good and powerful. They’re coming to me because of the value I can offer. That’s not really where I should be focusing – where I should focus is where my nerd comes out – my withdrawn reserved self – like maybe at a meeting where I know less about the topic at hand, or am surrounded by alpha males, or at a social setting where I don’t know the people. Goal next week – find a situation like that and focus on it.

Interestingly, an opportunity for giving feedback to another team member of mine arose this week. Interesting because I’ve been managing people for over three years now and I’ve given VERY little feedback outside of the construct of formal reviews. There was one colleague in particular with whom I struggled – I had lots of feedback I wanted to give but she didn’t take it well and I didn’t give it well.

And now they keep coming to me! I opened it up to the universe. In this case, our new-ish part time team member came to me. I don’t manage him directly, he’s only in once a week and I don’t have a close handle on his work. I was SUPER impressed with his proactivity and the way he framed his request for feedback, and it gave me the space to give it. I didn’t have a ton to give, due to our limited interactions, but I think he found it valuable. Now I get to make this a more regular part of my relationships!

Onto the weekend, hoping my cold is imaginary and looking to chugging through three days of training that we’re leading at work this coming  week. Declaring a time to do yoga (Tuesday). And then – vacation! (staycation) Happy weekend, all.

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