Optimistic

I’m feeling optimistic.  This may sound surprising, since I started the morning asking for your support as I was channeling patience with my teenage son.  He suffers from depression and at times he resists going to school, and this was one of those mornings.  It can be so frustrating to see him make poor choices.  But I try to remember that he’s not being deliberately defiant. This is his illness coming through, and his pain (along with his teenage brain) makes it hard for him to think about the long-term benefits of going to school — all he can think about is the short-term benefit of hiding in bed and avoiding the anxiety he feels about school and the return of his depression.

Luckily, I’ve put some supports in place (including you all — thank you for your kind words).  We’re lucky that the new high school he attends has a program specifically designed for kids with anxiety and depression — kids like my son who have been in and out of hospitals and treatment programs.  He gets daily group therapy, in school, with highly qualified therapists — who talked him into getting out of bed and coming to school today.  They take some of the burden off me by staying on top of his homework, and gently encouraging him to complete his assignments in a way that would sound like nagging if it came from me. The program also provides weekly individual therapy for him, as well as family therapy sessions and a monthly support group for parents. After months of driving this kid and his sister all over the state to expensive private outpatient treatment facilities, I’m just so relieved and grateful that these support mechanisms are available to us. And I’m optimistic that they’ll help me be who I need to be, my best self and a loving, patient mom.

I’m also optimistic because I focused out today.  I had 2 great conversations with friends I hadn’t spoken to in months, and learned about what they’ve been up to. And I touched base with my LP buddy. Thank you Jasmine for inspiring me to do this — your goal of restoring integrity and clearing with important people in your life made me want to have these conversations — not exactly to clear anything, but just to stay connected.  I also focused out by spending some time helping to plan an annual event I’m involved in, a conference for youth aging out of foster care.

Finally, I’m feeling optimistic about my financial goals. Over the past few days, I received 2 long-anticipated medical reimbursement checks, which will help with paying down some of the debt I’ve accumulated. And my husband and I are planning to sit down tonight or tomorrow to work on our budget (turns out he’d already investigated some of the budgeting tools that were on my list).  I’m not exactly looking forward to it, but I think it will feel good to know we’ve taken this responsible step together.

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Optimistic

  1. So many good things here!
    Glad our community was there to support you this morning, and it’s great to note that (while we hope this was an isolated incident for your son,) this could have been any random morning, and your team was there for you. #WIN

    Also, sounds like an amazing school for your son, with great programming and multiple considerations for the students’ and families’ needs!

    I imagine that the school-based offerings can also help lower some of the prior health-related expenses, which should be a relief and a plus for your financial goal!

    Lastly, I love that we find ways to inspire one another with what we’re up to – Jasmine inspiring you to take action is a great reinforcement for her and to the rest of us about the power of connection.

    Great start!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow so impressed by both the being and the doing that you’ve taken on this week. Your momentum is inspiring!

    Like

  3. This post really resonated with me a lot! Honestly I got a little emotional about it.. I will never know all the challenges you are going through but love how you talk about finding the right program and team for your son. During the early years of my life I had some challenges in developing of the fine motor skills (basically eye hand coordination). This posed challenges with Math, writing, etc. My parents (particularly my mother) were big advocates for me and they made sure that I got the right support. I am sure it was challenging and frustrating for them. Without this “team” and support that they created with the school, other counselors, therapists etc. I would not be where I am today! I am so appreciative of them for making sure that I got what I needed even when I felt funny being pulled out of class for special help, etc.

    A few years back I dated a girl who has clinical depression and ADHD and it developed when she was a teenager.. I learned a lot from her as she had become very successful in her life and career as she developed amazing strategies to handle both. Her parents are amazing people too as they rallied for her! They were open and honest and extremely supportive!

    There is this lady Barb who I have been working with for the past years. When we first started working together her daughter — a teenager- was diagnosed with depression. It was challenging as they were balancing the medications, etc. I was amazed at how Barb could balance everything. Fast forward to last year when her company and my company exhibited at a tradeshow. Barb also brought her daughter — now a senior in high school — to help out at the show. Additionally it was in New Orleans. I was so amazed at how mature and how confident she is for her age. I was so amazed at how she handled herself with people visiting the booth, etc. We talked more about her daughter, etc. and still amazed at what Barb did to advocate for her.

    Thank you again for sharing your story with us! Your son is very lucky!

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  4. Sara. You’ve captured my heart in how earnestly you are taking your life on. Remember the comment I wrote on your PSP draft, how can you making budgeting an empowering experience? I suggest getting connected to the payoffs of this practice.

    xoxox

    VT

    Like

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