First time blogging. Ever.

And I’m being true to my word. Thursday is my blog day. Go me.

I’m part of service team this weekend for ALP12 and I am driving up to NYC tonight from DC, after a long day. Not to play the victim or tell a story, but considering I have a 4 hour drive ahead of me (by myself) and it’s nearly 10pm, it would’ve been easy for me to say “fuck this; I’ll blog a different time.” But no; I am doing this now, like I pledged I would. So, please excuse the shorter length of this post.

After being in a funk last weekend, and struggling with revising my PSP (why do I make it so heavy?! This is for me! Not meant to stress me out!) and not editing all of yours’, I actually started off my cycle on Tuesday, mostly committed, even though my emotions weren’t really there. This is a constant struggle for me: allowing my emotion to overtake me instead of remaining committed to my myself and to my word.

3-day update on my goals:

While I haven’t been as strict with my calorie count/portion-control diet, I have incorporated some of the principals of the 21-day Fix (BeachBody- check it out). I’ve exercised every day thus far! In the morning before work for 2 of the days. And I feel good! I also got in bed early Tuesday night (before 10pm; didn’t go to sleep until after 11, but hey, I was unwinding for a while and slept in my bed, washed up, in PJs vs. passing out on my couch, falling asleep with the lights and TV on). While last night I was not successful in getting to bed early (3-hour grounding call for this weekend- FML), I’ve reduced my anxiety and embraced the fact life is fluid and I must be able to roll with the punches. And not stress about it. It will be ok.

I’m signing off for now….To be continued….

 

 

 

 

 

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5 thoughts on “First time blogging. Ever.

  1. A lot here to celebrate!

    First blog! Sticking with your PSP instead of chucking it and quitting! Working out for 3 days! Being in bed wound down and ready for sleep!

    I love that you’re getting yourself into a great mindset as you start the cycle, and that you’re in regular contribution.

    I’m wondering if you see any opportunity to take on some additional ownership of some aspects you listed, as there was a touch of a victim-speak related to circumstances (the drive and the phone call), but I also get that the times that I’ve been on Service team I did it from here w/o a 4-hour drive, so no judgment.

    The biggest piece I saw for you related to emotions versus commitment – would love to see you discuss this at a bit more length: how it comes up, what it feels like, when it transitions from something you deal with vs hits a level of overwhelm, what coping methodologies have worked to date, etc.

    There could be a treasure vault of value for you in that, if you’re willing to take the time to explore.

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  2. Love you, buddy! I hope your drive was safe, and I hope the weekend is amazing! I’ll be thinking of you all.

    I hear what you’re saying about struggling not to allow emotions to get in the way of commitments. I work on that too, and it isn’t easy. But I find it helps to acknowledge my feelings, feel them, and then remind myself that they don’t control me, that I can remain true to my commitments.

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  3. Hmmmmmm. Yeah, I totally hear the resistance piece- I have spent YEARS, decades even, in deeply rooted resistance. And it has not served me. I think you are truly shifting, the desire and recognition are there, and you’re bringing a lightness to the conversation. Look forward to talking more about being in choice. Yay for this weekend!

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  4. “Mostly committed” are the words that stuck out to me here, and that seemed to be a theme throughout what you shared. Mostly, but, not all the way.

    Hey, mostly’s good. It’s better than not at all. It’s better than somewhat.

    BUT….

    What would be possible if you just WENT for it, 100% commitment, circumstances be damned? What would it feel like to set that STRONG of an intention and then follow through? How would you experience yourself differently if you took that on?

    AND….

    What comes up for you when you think about being 100% committed? Resistance I’m sure, but, what are the particular conversations — what does your brain SAY? I have a feeling that’s worth exploring.

    Like

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