Here we Go!

I  committed to writing my blog post first thing in the morning and then sending it instead of waiting till the end of the day.  I sometimes focus on creating something perfect when this is just not always necessary.  The point is getting the job done and enjoying the process too..  In some cases I can double check and triple check and/or have “analysis paralysis” and this can sabotage the task and goal in the first place.  I sometimes have this fear of not looking good and/or not appearing to be working hard enough at a task responsibility or goal (image).. Get over yourself .

Goal #1 Hire an amazingly organized assistant to help me take my company and its partners to the next level and beyond.
My main step / activity  for the week related to this was to send a job description to one person who I have in mind — I have worked with him before.   I will use “G” as an alias to protect the innocent. Honestly I have a job description but waited a bit to send it in hopes to make it perfect..  Last night I realized that this job description is a work in progress and that what benefit does it do me to try to perfect it more.  My buddy called me out on this as well. On Saturday she was like — “Why cant you just send it now”?  I sent the job description on Sunday night (as promised to myself when talking to my buddy)  and already receive a reply from G.  G wants to speak on Wednesday but am going to schedule a time today to go through some of the main points to elaborate a bit more.  I will ask him to think about the points and we will discuss again.  I may reach out to a temp agency as well depending on how the conversation goes.  I have chosen to focus on this candidate.
Some time back I created an Excel type spreadsheet that allows me to mark where I spend my time so that I can see where my days are going.  Categories include: Out going calls, Incoming calls, Out going emails, Incoming Emails, Research, Administrative, Meals, Logistics, Distraction, etc.  To no surprise a lot of the time was spent on administrative tasks.  Additionally there is too much time on distractions as well.  The distractions happen as I can be more focused but this mostly happens when I am doing tasks that I don’t enjoy.   This week coincidentally,  I had a lot of admin stuff including processing orders, planning for an upcoming tradeshow,  scanning and depositing checks, transfer payments to vendors, etc.  This takes away from my business development side which hinders the business from growing.
I have a bookkeeper to handle things once the orders are processed and to reconcile the books. She is remote and is not involved with the day to day operations.  My challenge is organization and order processing. Additionally, I waste a lot of time trying to keep organized.  Frankly it stresses me out.  I need guidance in this area. I get to let go of this and hire someone who will own this and allow me to manage and grow the business. This will take some time to find the right people and to train but extremely necessary. I ask myself what are the prices I have paid?  I waste a lot of my weekends scanning documents, reconciling orders, so that I can transfer this to the bookkeeper so she can reconcile.  Additionally I spend too much time organizing.   I could have been spending my time on business development opportunities  and/or even doing something social.  I never shut off and this is not effective. This topic was discussed in this week as well regarding focusing on a goal and/or choosing to rest and self care.
I am sometimes afraid of being vulnerable. These administrative things are personal and will expose my strengths and weaknesses. The business is still connected to me on a personal level as its still “startup” in a lot of ways.  I get to be vulnerable and risk my image.  I get to look past this and know that the rewards far outweigh the risks.   I get to be more abundant instead of being being so “penny saved pound foolish.”  I get to say that one step back to train will equal many steps forward.
The companies who have chosen to work with me are relying on me to build their businesses in the respective markets we serve.  I am working with great vendors (good people); competitive products; and now its up to me to create a better process to create more sales and to build their businesses in my markets.  The “one man band” is no longer going to suffice.  I either jump in or I don’t do this at all.  I have chosen to jump in! I also have partners/ vendors who want me to succeed and its up to me to be open and honest and ask for their support.  They have confidence in my abilities and I get to exceed their expectations.
Dating – Be clear with what I want and going for it.
As for the dating I chose to work more closely with what I want.   I am not afraid to put myself out there, etc. but get to be more honest with what I want so I can focus with clarity.  This was highlighted  by others on the Blog as well which made me reflect a bit more.
This list is a work in progress.
  • 6 Must Haves in a

  • 10 Very Important things

  • Unlimited Would be Nices

  • At least  5 ways that I want to feel with this person Be specific.

  • What are ways of being that I can be. Giving is essential.
I have thought a lot about this.  Back in December I had started dating a girl who I have known on a professional level for some time.  We had common friends and colleagues as we worked for the same company but at different times. We had started hanging out and tried dating.  On paper she is great – she is smart; really nice; and have some common interests  but my heart and intuition were saying different things.  I gave it some time but realized that I did not feel the mental and physical connection that I had hoped.  The relationship was lacking some chemistry as well. I chose to be open and honest and ended it. Normally I would have procrastinated and talked myself into giving it more time.  I have no regrets with my decision to be open and honest with myself and the girl I was dating.  I appreciated the conversations on Whatsapp regarding this topic too.  It’s nice to know that others are experiencing the same thing.
There was also some talk on the blogs about ways of being and what can one give.  After reading these points I asked myself  –  “How can I be and what can I offer”?  I thought a lot about my ways of being as opposed to what I want. I know that I can be more open and vulnerable in relationships. Honestly I sometimes view relationships as mutually exclusive. Since working full time on my venture I have said that I need to focus on my business and there is no room for a relationship.  “A relationship would be a distraction.”  “Everything has to be perfect in order for me to have a relationship.” Great story Scott.  Nice excuse to get out of being vulnerable.  I also don’t really have an answer to what perfection is.  I go out on dates and have had the chance to meet some great women but I don’t always open up with my feelings about what excites me;  what scares me, etc. I don’t always go for what I want in this area. This is something I get to work on.  I have improved in this area but I am still better at asking questions of the women I date than sharing.  The funny thing is that I am not really afraid of rejection on a high  or superficial level.  For example I am not afraid of talking to strangers.  My friend even married a girl who we met at a bar as I was bold enough to walk over and say hello.  However, I am sometimes afraid of being vulnerable with people who really matter.
As for the points above I will put some of my thoughts on paper.  I will  try to set some time aside each day to think about it.  Even if it’s for five minutes at a time.

5 thoughts on “Here we Go!

  1. Sorry for the lack of spacing and formatting. I wrote the entry in gmail and then copied and pasted it into the wordpress manager. It didnt modify the spacing. Next time I will create in the wordpress manager.


  2. Scott, thank you for sharing…really. I am proud of you for letting go of perfection and submitting a job description to the temp agency. What I know for sure is you get to have it all…when you declare and believe you can have it all. With that being said, I would like to invite you to set a date about when you will have your list of must haves, very important things, would be nices, and ways you want to feel and BE around and with this person…and to share it with us. I think what could support you is to stop delaying it. You are what stands between you and the love of your life. If all you can come up with are 3 adjectives, share those three. Start where you are! As you continue to date, the other qualities that are important to you will be revealed. Finally, I notice you apologizing for lack of spacing and formatting…why? This is a blog. Everyone is here to love you and support you in your next step. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be! I’m excited to see what you create this week. Keep us posted! 🙂 I also want to thank you for making dating important. I going to get back into the dating arena, too. Much Love, Tamika


  3. I love how excitedly you’re pushing forward with your business goal, and how you recognize the conversation going on in your head and push through anyway!

    Some questions about your experience of it…as you shared the voices in your head telling you to stop or slow down or make it perfect, but what was the experience like of pushing forward?
    Do you feel the excitement in your decisions? Do you feel nervous about what is to come?

    Also, I love this commitment to vulnerability in relationships!!

    I had a specific crazy challenge come to mind based on what you wrote and I’m wondering how you would feel about trying it (hour/day/week/month – you choose!):
    Radical vulnerability

    You’ve heard of radical honesty, where people share 100% of their honest beliefs and emotions? What would it be like for you to spend some amount of time with any mask or protection – radical vulnerability?

    How would you feel about yourself trying an experiment like this? How do you expect you would feel afterward?

    Thoughts on that?

    4s, Hadar


  4. hey buddy! glad you got your stats in and on time, yay!

    and yay for sending the imperfect job description!

    so you’ve been telling us (and me) a lot about these goals, and why you want to do them, the reasons you need to do them, why you should do them etc. do you feel like you need to validate these goals to yourself? is this a procrastination thing? you tell me!

    and seconding tamika’s comment. maybe you need to set up a structure in place to break down writing down about your ideal relationship. like by march 1st ill write down the 6 must-haves. it’s probably daunting to think about doing it all at once.

    much love,


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