Connecting and creating

It’s funny how I set my goals for the cycle and dive into them and yet somehow…other goals end up creeping their way in too. Good feedback that I’m playing big and listening to my intuition!

In this case, the goal that has snuck in has been around connection, and sometimes enrollment. I’ve been inspired by Kyla’s daily connection posts and have been charged up about enrollment (in the training) ever since my colleague Marc has had such a powerful experience, so I’m inspired to do more.

So I’ll start with this area of my life/week. I was able to have meaningful connections/conversations with three friends. One is a close friend – A – and we talked about self-trust and seeing the opportunities rather than the obstacles. As she knows about the training I didn’t push it again immediately, but pretty soon she got there on her own. “Maybe I should take that course you’ve been speaking about.” To be continued.

The next – M – is someone I don’t know quite as well. I found out this week she’s never been in a relationship. She’s my age, beautiful, successful, loyal, all the good things. We talked through the fear that might be getting in the way and the prices she’s paying for the choices she’s making. For me, I have lots of fear about talking to people about vulnerable issues like these. The fear is largely about hurting the other person – making them feel small or offended – and about not being liked. The biggest thing I learned through the work (specifically through staffing) is that if I hold people high they rise high. If I hold people small, they – and I – remain small. With that in mind, I had one of those moments that had me going ‘this sh** works!’ I gave her some feedback about the way she was showing up to me, and she looked at me flabbergasted and said that was the same feedback she had gotten from the one guy she had feelings for. Hey, it works.

I also had an awesome time connecting with Thomas and enrolling in the possibility of his future relationship! Love this magic.

Additionally, I circled back to two friends who had expressed interest in the training for March. Both are time/money conversations at the moment (which means they say they’re enrolled, but they’re not. That’s on me to shift).

As for my other goals, they are on their way! I started my morning routine, but am not yet in the groove. I went to bed early (most) nights, woke up 1.5 hours before I needed to leave, did 5-minute yoga routines, drank a glass of cold water, and – this is new – set an intention for the day! I felt some disconnect, though. I want to create a consistent environment every day where I set an intention and then a time to check in on that intention later in the day. And – this is also hard for me – the intention is a way of BEING, not a to-do list! Declaration for next week.

My work relationships goal this week was largely focused on one colleague, G. (Two others were on vacation). G had her annual review last week (the first with me, as her previous supervisor has since left) and this week we had a brief follow-up.

G has been with the organization for a year, and it’s incredible how much she’s grown and created this year. She shines in relationship building and thinks like a salesperson/fundraiser, though it’s not her job. She thinks outside of the box and still manages to stay on top of the details. Where she can grow is in her lifeview and level of confidence – in sharing positivity rather than frustration/anger, in self-trust and in letting go of self-comparisons. Isn’t it always about what’s in our heads, rather than a question of skill or competency? So in her review I shared a lot of that (not for the first time) in a constructive way. This is an area where I have CLEARLY grown this year. A year ago I would have glossed over constructive feedback and quickly sandwiched it with positivity. And yet that doesn’t help anyone grow. She was open to the feedback (a lot more than I often am!) and – I believe – felt supported. I created an action plan for follow-up items to ensure we’re working on these areas.

We also had a conversation about salary/title increases, and while I offered a lot in this area I know she was disappointed, and wanted more. This brings up the scarcity conversations with me as well as the guilt (that I make a good amount more than the rest of our team. Yes, I am the CEO, but the gap should be smaller in my opinion). I get to create abundance and focus on raising salaries across the board this year (eek!)

Looking forward to a busy week ahead, with lots of connecting and lots of work – so I get to fit in my goals between them! Actually, in the parlance of the training, I am committed to fitting my life into my PSP, not the other way around. Shabbat shalom!

 

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5 thoughts on “Connecting and creating

  1. Its clear to me that with your intentions in place you are creating powerful interactions and giving others an opportunity to feel hear and experience being truly seen. Glad you’re listening to your intuition on this!

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  2. You continue to impress me, buddy. I love that your intuition is telling you to focus on another goal, and you take it on — not instead of, but in addition to the others you’ve declared. Good for you for holding your friends high and having honest, connected enrollment conversations. Also, I’m inspired by your goal to raise your staff’s salaries across the board — keep up the good work.

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  3. I have been thinking off and on about the thoughts you have expressed last cycle and this about giving feedback and not wanting to hurt the other person. At the beginning of this cycle I started to get more direct feedback on my PSP draft as well as on my posts….and in a couple of instances I wasn’t mentally prepared in those moments to receive the feedback. So I did initially feel a bit of hurt…but then as I processed the feedback and gave it more thought I really got that the person was really caring about me. Taking the time to invest in me…their come from was in supporting me. So, it ended up making me feel good that they took the time. As I was going through all of this I was also thinking about you and about your not wanting to hurt someone. I think when the come from is understood by the recipient as being from a place of care and there is a history of that, more often than not the feedback will ultimately be received as something positive.

    I want to acknowledge you for being brave with your friend and sharing what your experience of her was. In giving her feedback….

    I have been thinking more about connection too…it is interesting how all the dialogue of others sticks in your brain during the day and impacts and makes you think!

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