Nothing Matters Without My Health

Just 4 days after passing my high blue belt test I went in for hernia repair surgery. Yes, it’s a routine laproscopic procedure, but as we all know, nothing in this life is promised. Fortunately, for me, I woke up from the surgery with everything going as planned. I have always been blessed with great health, but as I learned early on in life, I am human. I remember back when I had the original hernia surgery how “in shock” I was. As a child growing up I was so healthy that I never missed school. My mom would actually call me out from time to time as a reward for never missing. I had a sense of invincibility, something that was crushed when I found out that I would “go under the knife”. Fast forward to today, still having an amazing immune system, but seeing it as a gift, one I am truly grateful for. Additionally, modern surgical procedures have afforded me a much faster recovery.

Although I was able to get through the pain without the use of pharmaceuticals, my motivation level has been at zero all week. My expense reports continue to be a struggle. It literally feels like I am standing in quick sand. I make the time for it and then dance around some crazy force field that surrounds my computer. I am committed disgusted with myself and embarrassed that I continue to fight the support my buddy gives me. As the universe would have it, it’s time to grow up. Come April 1st I will be reporting to my first new boss in 10 years. It’s all part of the latest reorganization of my company. I must dig deep this time, stop looking for reasons why I don’t,, and create the space for me to succeed.

As I want to end this on a high note I will finish by sharing my excitement of the interaction I had with the woman I am pursuing. As you know from last week, she was away on a trip to Florida. I remained calm and relaxed, even as it got close to her arrival. Funny how having surgery can be a welcome distraction. 😊 At precisely 12am and a few seconds I posted a message on her Facebook wall. That’s when the nervousness started. How long would it be until she saw it? That morning she posted several items and still no acknowledgement of my birthday greeting. I began to second guess myself, maybe I shouldn’t have posted to her wall? By morning I had decided to send her a private message stating that maybe it was better that I would have sent the message privately then on her wall. She replied quickly and thanked me for always remembering which quickly put my mind at ease. Now it was time for phase two; during the evening of the fundraiser she had mentioned how much she loved chocolate covered strawberries. It was really just a passing statement as we stood at the desert line but to me it was just the information I was looking for. I was on a business trip in Ithaca New York with just a 10 minute window to figure out how I would get them to her. A few internet searches and one phone call later and it was mission accomplished. Now I would just have to wait for them to arrive and hope that she was there to receive them. Shortly after my demo began my phone started buzzing. We actually had a few minutes some down time so I read the message. I could feel the excitement coming right through the phone

and

only wish I was there to see it in person. The best part was that she realized that I picked up on her passing statement about the chocolate covered strawberries. That only added to her appreciation of the birthday surprise. So now I get to exhibit more patience as I get ready to leave for Atlanta. My intention is to take her out for a birthday dinner when I return. It’s never been so hard, and yet so easy, to exhibit the patience I know is necessary to make this happen. The one thing I do know is that this WILL happen. That is what gives me peace.

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2 thoughts on “Nothing Matters Without My Health

  1. “I began to second guess myself, maybe I shouldn’t have posted to her wall?” Second-guessing is an inevitable part of the courting process, I know, but, NO! No second guessing. Do what’s authentic for you and trust it!

    Love the chocolate covered strawberries gift, and how thoughtful it was. Way to risk (and trust)! Great stuff.

    “The one thing I do know is that this WILL happen. That is what gives me peace.” YES!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love how other sides of people personalities show up!

    Despite the nervousness that you discussed I still felt many pieces of your analytical side over the course of PSP life.

    When I saw that picture on WhatsApp and read your post here, I see you’re coming from the heart.

    There is a Hebrew expression:
    ‏דברים מהלב נכנסים על הלב
    Words from the heart penetrate the heart

    I know that when you come from the heart is so loving and genuine it will be recognized by everyone in your life.

    ROCK ON!!

    PS – re-expense reports, I feel like they’re really just small stuff and in this case you’re sweating the small stuff. That really doesn’t suit a man of your caliber. They aren’t Kryptonite; they aren’t Bane. The only thing that has the power or ability to make them bigger than what they are is you.

    Liked by 1 person

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