JBG – Some Birthday Blogging

Another reason that I love this community is that you encourage me to throw birthday parties.  In my 20’s I loved throwing birthday parties and bringing together the different communities of my life for some cross-pollinating unadulterated good old fashion fun.  In my 30’s, not so much.  Some of that is that your life changes, your circles get smaller, and people’s lives get busier.  But my NERD also became more confident in asserting itself – “what do you have to celebrate?  You don’t get to throw bday parties anymore.  You are going to look and feel like a loser, poser, fraud.  So go out to eat with your 5 friends who haven’t moved away and don’t need a babysitter and call it a day…”

Last year was the first year that I had the courage and desire to throw a birthday party.  I did it kicking and screaming, while battling my NERD, but it happened and it was great!!!  And you know what???  If it weren’t for the fact that it was a PSPLife goal for that cycle, I doubt that it would have happened.  This year, I didn’t have it is as goal, because it was unnecessary.  I knew that I wanted to do it again and I figured the execution would be simple.  Because what’s the big deal?!?!?!  Pick a venue and send out a couple of texts.

But the NERD.  The oh so powerful NERD – “Last year was a fluke.  You are going to feel like a loser.  You can’t do it at the same place because that’s lazy.  Go back to your boring old self.  Save yourself from a lame party!”  But I chose to ignore that nonsense.  I waited until the last minute because that’s what I do.  I reached out to Vanessa for some venue ideas, and she hooked me up!  But I needed to find the place that felt right.  So in my brilliance, I thought it would be wise to reach out to others for venue ideas and I conducted my own research.  Because how can you make an informed decision on bday venues without doing serious research (yes I am being sarcastic and recognize how crazy i can get.)   I found myself in the sad vortex that is Yelp reviews.  I felt like I was getting a bit crazy and out of control.  It got to the point that last Saturday night, my plan was to do some reconnaissance and check some places out.  So I plotted a bunch of places on the map.  But then got sad and overwhelmed.  So I went to one local place and it was closed!!

I knew in my head and my wonderful friends told me not to worry, that the venue is inconsequential.  That people just want to have a good time and that’s what will happen if you just choose a place.  Intellectually I knew all of that.  But it’s crazy how your fears take over and make you miserable.  I make myself miserable!!!  Not to mention how ridiculous I felt for getting all worked up and stressed out over something so silly.

So I went back to Vanessa’s email of suggestions and chose her favorite place, which felt right to me, and now I’m stoked!  I am still amazed how powerful the NERD can be over decisions big and small.  How uncomfortable it can be when he rears his ugly head.  But he is my NERD and he always will be.  The antidote is MAKE DECISIONS.  Build momentum.  Enjoy your support.  TRUST yourself!!!

I can’t wait to party with all of you beautiful people.  Whether you can make it or not, I will be partying with you!!!



3 thoughts on “JBG – Some Birthday Blogging

  1. I so feel you. My nerd shows up every year around my birthday too. Will I end up feeling disconnected and disapointed? Is it worth putting myself out there rather than doing something that feels safe? It is. We get to celebrate you and you get to feel loved. I’ll be there with bells on. 🙂


  2. The antidote is MAKE DECISIONS. Build momentum. Enjoy your support. TRUST yourself!!!

    Ha. That is SO the antidote. And thank you for having a party, you’re giving me a chance to break up my Days of Solitude and be social. I hear you, though, parties can churn up a lot of shit (and wait ’till you have a wedding). I avoid them too even as I greatly enjoy, like you, bringing different folks together. I think it’s awesome that you pushed through and are doing a big party 2 years in a row. And it’s refreshing too seeing that you had stuff to push through–I have this belief that it’s so easy for everyone else. You’ve inspired me to get over myself and get in action on my women lawyers thing!


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