Ughhhhhh!

Well, I haven’t blogged in 2 weeks and mainly because I kept finding excuses why I couldn’t.  It sucks when I realize the reason why something hasn’t happened is because I did nothing to have it be so.  Ughhhh!  I’m at work this morning, slightly tired from an amazing week.  I’m really happy with what I’ve been creating but I’m realizing transition sets me off balance.  Next week, my awesome boss, the BEST one I’ve had to date is leaving (another one of my awesome bosses left in December). 😦  😦  He’s heading to a new state to be an IJ (Immigration Judge) and he will totally rock at it.  It makes me sad because he is so intelligent, kind, and nurturing of my career.  In the 5 months I’ve been here, he’s given me several unreasonable deadlines (which I fondly know as STRETCHES), writing and research assignments, invited me to sit on his immigration law classes at GW (I’ve been to 3) and given me LOTS of homework just like his students and he has expected me to keep up with it all.  I guess what I’m saying is he HOLDS ME HIGH in a way that I’ve never been held before and it has given me a new experience of myself and what is possible for my life.  It’s been an amazing experience to be a part of his leadership and I will undoubtedly miss him.  I also realize that I have to experience my sadness and release it and TRUST that the universe is already sending the next PERFECT intelligent, kind, nurturing boss who will also totally support me in my career.  I am very appreciative of my career, my co-workers, and my life.  And I know that I am the author of my life and it is important that I begin authoring the next awesome chapter in the work section of my life.  I will leave myself with this:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

I thank the universe for the amazing bosses I’ve had and I am waiting patiently and excitedly for the next amazing boss it is sending to replace my current one.  I TRUST THE PROCESS OF MY LIFE.

 

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3 thoughts on “Ughhhhhh!

  1. Nice poem! It sounds like your boss is pretty special, that is a tough loss. But, I love the shift to trust. The only thing I’ll add is, if you DON’T get the nurturing boss you’re expecting… don’t take it as a sign that the Universe is abandoning you. Because one of the things that came to mind for me as I was reading this was… as much as this man has supported you and held you high… you don’t need him anymore. You have the power to hold YOURSELF high. Because of his contribution to you, you now experience yourself a different way; you now know what you are capable of. You are able to carry that torch forward now on your own, and this happening of him leaving may be JUST the thing that will have you GET that.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I also see this as a sign for you to find ways to pay that forward.
    Where else can you create that nurturing and growth-focused relationship? Might it be as an adjuct professor next year?
    Who in your life is looking to you for guidance?

    Like

  3. Congrats on the post buddy! I hope that the universe brings you another great boss and I love that you are choosing trust on this!

    Like

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