Sitting down to blog and the baby hears the keyboard begin to click as I start to write the blog post that I have had some resistance to writing during the day. It will be nice when we have a bit more space and her crib is not 15 feet away from my desk, albeit behind closed doors. I give her a few minutes and hope that she settles herself down and that I don’t have to go in there. I end up having to. It is 10 pm and my 18 month old child is not yet sleeping….and after two nights of a 9pm bedtime and enormous amounts of guilt about the late hour at which my bitty child has gone to sleep. It takes a long while to get her ready for bed….she is really resistant to brushing her teeth so I have to tickle her belly and sing a song that makes her laugh so that I can get a couple brushes in at a time. This is a lot of what I spend my time doing…..getting creative so that I can keep things positive with her, avoid any meltdowns and be the most expeditious. She is very connected to me lately and is going through a phase where I need to be right near her. We went on a walk earlier when Thomas got home and she needed to hold my finger while Thomas pushed her in the stroller. The research I have read says it is normal at this age for the baby to prefer the main caregiver over everyone else and to somewhat of stronger level.
Tomorrow morning we will drive out to Sea Cliff to check out a very promising house, a little above our budget, but very promising. I have been at this ‘house searching thang’ for about a year and a half, our having finally decided on Sea Cliff as the place we want to live late last fall. The spring market is starting to heat up a bit and has delivered us this house. Built in 1898, a victorian, it seems to be fairly well maintained with a kitchen that would definitely need to be redone. If we love it I am hoping we can get the price down to a more workable level for us, but we shall see. Between the baby and the house my mental free space is very limited. It was interesting to see however how nice life can be when you are not mentally focused on moving your life to some other destination. The last three days I have spent very little time on house hunting and have had lots going on socially….so much more enjoyable to be living life versus planning a future and the related hunting for a house that is central to it.
So I think that I have been resisting the blog post today because I don’t feel really connected to my goals, meaning I know what they are but haven’t had a lot of free time to reconnect with the details of what I intend to accomplish over the next couple of weeks. I get to print the goals out and have them in front of me at my desk, this always helps to keep me more aligned with the shorter and longer term goals.
I am excited about goal one and three, increasing glamour and increased personal and professional connection. I keep forgetting the middle goal, which is fitness. I think this might in part be because I have really been quite exhausted lately and haven’t physically felt well over the last couple of weeks, achy and feverish. I get to make an appointment with my doctor to run some tests just to see what is going on and make sure I don’t need to increase my thyroid medication. Anyway. I get to get more connected to my goals and get organized with them. I also get to get more committed about going to sleep at a decent hour and given that it is now 10:27 I will bid you all adieu…. As my babe says, ni ni….to all.