Untethered

I’m starting this cycle feeling a bit untethered. I feel good about my goal of figuring out my next step in my career but it continues to feel secondary. Recent developments with the guy have me struggling. I saw him this past week and felt very connected to him. My parents are distraught that I am continuing to spend time with him (for now) and that weighs heavily on me. But I am not ready to walk away from him and what we have, despite the obstacles ahead. I am committed to trusting myself and my process and giving myself the space to figure out what is best for me, no matter how many loved ones advise me to walk away. I saw a therapist today for this first time in a few years. This situation is complicated and as wonderful and supportive as my friends are being, I realize that an unbiased support could be really beneficial right now. The session went well and I feel good about working with her as I navigate my choices in my relationships (and career). Also, all this is happening as I inject myself with hormones daily as part of the egg freezing process. I have started to feel bloated and a bit uncomfortable and am looking forward to this process being over.

I get to hold space for myself to feel whatever I feel and figure out my next steps one day at a time. I’m starting off the cycle feeling grateful for the structure of this group to get myself in motion regarding my career and for the ongoing support, knowing you all have my back as I navigate my relationships.

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3 thoughts on “Untethered

  1. I admire you for being brave and choosing to handle this the way you feel is best and not giving in to the outside voices. I am confident that only you, can decide what’s best for you. & best wishes with this egg freezing process!! I’m so excited about this for you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. just wow…there is so much here to unpack.

    I continue to admire the way that you are authentically connected, self-aware, and trusting of your feelings and beliefs. I also have experienced you as someone grounded and realistic, although willing to give things and people chances as you determine what is a good fit for you.

    I remember feeling the results of the reading you received last cycle (which were to me in some ways spot on and in other ways surprising), and the role security plays in your life. How are you feeling with that vis-a-vis the guy? What, other than time, would support you in finding clarity, and what other than clarity are you looking for in your current/ongoing interactions with him? What support would you like to receive that you’re not getting (if any)?

    For the 2nd point, it’s a bold decision, made from a place of strength. How long is this process and what advice have you received to help you manage the impact on your body & emotions?

    Like

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