Still not putting the structured time into my career goal and finding myself alternating between feeling angsty and calm. That said, I am talking with people regularly about my past experiences and my future goals and am feeling some movement. Our small group meeting on Sunday was powerful and I attended another purpose support group last night.
I had a preliminary phone interview today about I job that I think could be a great fit for me. It’s managing a new meditation studio that is currently under construction. They are looking for someone is who both managerial and will create a warm, positive energy for the space. I think I am a perfect fit and I am excited about moving forward in the process with them (while trying to stay unattached to the outcome—so hard!)
I am having a lot of resistance to the blog I committed to posting publicly about my desire to be a mother. I completed a draft and have shared it with two people. While the feedback has been positive, I can’t help but hear the voice of inner critic saying loudly that it is not smart to be so vulnerable so publicly and what am I really hoping to accomplish anyway? But I am working on letting myself be seen and expressing myself without shame so I this is an opportunity to practice that on a larger scale. It’s scary but also exciting (but mostly scary).
In other news, I had a great first date on Monday night. He was warm, smart, funny, and sweet (and tall, cute, and Jewish to boot.) We had an easy connection that felt really nice. I did not succeed in putting aside my agenda and evaluative mode, but I did set an intention to be present and open-hearted and I think I was fairly successful in that (as much as one can be when still in judgment mode) ;). I get to be kind to myself as I work on shifting my ways of being from critical to neutral observation and staying present in my body as I navigate the dating world.