I was so worried about having enough time to study that I not only made it my main goal, I wrote my PSP early, and then immediately took action. Since then I have studied closer to 1-3 hours per day. My goal was to find the time and motivation to study 4 hours per week. Clearly, the goal was poorly designed. I forgot a few things.
I forgot how much I love to learn and how invigorating it has been to use my brain for the first time in so many years. I forgot that I always want to get an ‘A’ and almost never give up on learning. I forgot that I chose this subject and actually enjoy many aspects of this material so it has felt like a privilege to study, not a burden.
I also forgot how hard school is for me. Everything takes me about 5x as long to comprehend and then study. It can be rather draining. That leads me to believe that I must increase the numbers of hours, as well.
This class is intended as a point on a journey to help me learn about what I want to do professionally. I am not sure what the bigger picture is, if there is a dream or a vision. The comments on my PSP reminded me of that. Everything I wrote was very ‘doing’ focused and I received push back to be more ‘being’ focused. Outside of wanting to succeed, there is little ‘being’ involved here. I can’t get excited about organizational psychology or even think of an ideal job in the field. I really just like psychology (which is great information). I often read my textbooks and ask myself: do I actually care about this? When I hear about jobs and internships in the field I often think ‘could I convince myself to do that every day’ or ‘will I earn enough to make that worth it’? So, I’m learning but it is hard for me. I usually have a dream to hold onto that propels me forward. I am a cause-driven person so not having a cause is foreign and scary.
The other part of the goal was about networking, in an effort to learn about the field and give this class my all. After class today I approached a group of people, asked for their contact information and organized a study group in advance of the midterm. That was fun!
Fun fact: today’s class was about group dynamics and designing goals. I think we all know a bit about these things 🙂