Last Tuesday I had a second interview with an organization I really loved. The team accidentally said things at the end like, “you would be a perfect fit here” and “this is your desk”. I felt feeling very optimistic. Today I got an email that they loved me and if I ever needed anything to let them know… but they were going with a more experienced individual. I almost cried at the prospect of telling people. There is a lot of disappointment here, intertwined with shame. It’s a big dissappointment and also, I know what to do. Tonight and tomorrow and the day after that I will just keep doing what I know to do. That will always be changing. I will always be learning and discovering and evolving. Some day soon an organization will be lucky to hire me.
I’m starting off this cycle a bit slow, as I was waiting to complete my PSP until I heard about this job… but my revisions will include professional development goals related to my job search.