Dude! What are you doing?

The past two weeks have been somewhat eventful. My major goal is to follow my intuition, and gut.  Although I don’t always listen to it, my inner voice tells me a lot.  Actually this came up in our group meeting on Sunday as I believe Brand Mon (do you know who this is? She is in PSP Life) also mentioned something about this.  “The inner voice just doesn’t shut up sometimes.” This cycle I choose to really listen to my intuition, gut, inner voice!  Actually, my inner voice says things like “Dude!- what are you doing?” “Dude, drop that already!”

My business “IU” has a lot going for it but needs some additional components to take it to the next level.  Earlier in the year I signed a joint venture agreement with a company who has products that complement my current lines and services. They want to expand into the Northeast section of the US. The back and forth and the negotiation leading to it took much more time, effort, and energy than I had expected.   Was the back and forth a sign that I should not move forward?  Anyway we did eventually sign an agreement.  Despite decent intentions, the structure of the arrangement is not the best given the structure of both companies.  The ordering  process is too complicated.  I also believe that my partner   ( Mr. K) would like someone who can focus full time on the venture.  Additionally,   Mr. K is quite busy and does not always follow through on necessary tasks.  Most of this is due to him being busy.  But is it?  My intuition has been telling me for some time that the arrangement is not the best option.  On paper everything seemed like it can work. Additionally, there are some conflicts that overlap with my original product lines.   I am not 100 percent comfortable with this.  My original set of vendors have not always gotten along with the new company that I work with and probably prefer that I don’t work with them.  But this is mostly out of fear that my time will be distracted from their product lines. My feeling is that the additional offerings actually help to get everyone’s products more exposure with my customers.

After some discussion and expression of dissatisfaction – Mr K  and I agreed that we should put the initial agreement  on hold and IU  will work initially as a representative for their product lines. We also restructured the compensation arrangement. This will give us some time to better evaluate each other.  My gut has gone back and forth on this but I believe that a little more time is needed to evaluate each other and this will be worth it in the long run.  We agreed to re-visit everything in July 2017. This whole process has caused some distraction and some frustration but overall it has been a good learning experience.  I have learned about what products I need and what areas to better focus.  I have also learned about what I can improve upon.

We have a tradeshow approaching in mid-November and both sets of companies will be exhibiting. I am expected to work with both of them.  Ideally it would have been good to have one booth but both sides are no comfortable in doing this.   This event will be a good chance for me to speak with both sets of vendors.  I will keep you posted.

I am also committed to use my intuition in dating.  With the rise of various apps, websites, social media, etc. dating, – on the surface – seems to have become easier.  Or has it?  I firmly believe that it’s important to really know what I want.  Actually in Cycle 6 I created a detailed list of what I want.   Despite going through this exercise, I have the capability of wasting time keeping in touch with a bunch of women even when my gut is telling me to move on.  I hear my inner voice say “Dude! What are  you doing?  Drop this! Run!”  This week I was open and honest with three women who I had kept in touch with who I either was not interested in dating and/or not interested in keeping in contact with.  Frankly my gut was screaming in these cases.

The first girl named ” A” I was fixed up with by this lady  (Crazy Yenta)  who runs a dating service.  I am not a part of this service but she introduces me to her clients.  Despite my gut telling me I am wasting my time, I agreed.  After having a conversation with  “A” my gut was like “Liar! You are wasting your time! You really don’t want to meet her?  She is not even close to what you are looking for?”  I finally called “A” back and was completely honest.  I told her that I am not interested in going out and that I am not a member of this dating service.  I then wrote and called (left a voicemail) the want to be Crazy Yenta and told her I had no interested in her dating service particularly if we are not being 100 percent honest.  I also offered to spend some time so that I can explain what I am truly looking for and to also understand her intentions.  Maybe I have some friends who would be  interested.

The second girl “N” is someone who I went on a few dates with.  Actually I was introduced to this girl by the same Crazy Yenta.  Despite not being interested in dating her I offered to be friends.  However, over time I got tired of talking to her as I felt she brought with her a lot of drama that was not serving me nor her. I was being patient but not completely authentic about communicating with her.  I finally told “N” that I need a break after she said some offensive comments.  Maybe I used her comments as an excuse to cut her off.

Finally, there is “E” who I met on a dating app  who I had been putting off meeting. I would just text with her from time to time. My intuition was saying “No dude! You really don’t want to see her.” I finally told “E” that I was going on a date with someone else and I am interested in focusing on one person instead of dating several.  This is actually true.  She encouraged me to do so in a “good luck” type of tone.

I did go on an actual date with a girl named “S” who I met on Thursday and then again on Saturday.  My gut is communicating that I am not interested.  Usually I try to convince myself to give it more time but my gut is saying to let it go.  I get to listen to it and move on.  This is really difficult for me sometimes.  I like “S” as a person but I am not feeling the connection.  My gut is asking “Do I really want to see “S” again?” And the answer is not “No” but its not a loud “Yes.”

My minor goal is to practice some form of Meditation.  I have not done much with this goal.  I am going to follow up with questions to the group sponsoring the mediation class. I  I mentioned this in my post last week.  It seems interesting but I get to confirm if I can miss one week as I am away on business.  Brand Mon offered to join me if I participate.

In the same respect I have not looked at any of the various apps and resources that have been presented.  I am committing to work on this more — even if its trying out the app Headspace.  Coincidentally, my friend who introduced me to Dharma Yoga reached out to me over the weekend. This yoga studio, at first, was intimidating but I did feel really relaxed and refreshed after participating.  I believe that the meditation class that I am looking at is located at the same facility.

Have a great week!




3 thoughts on “Dude! What are you doing?

  1. So it seems like you know off the bat with women. I think this level of awareness is good. I just hope you are putting yourself out there so that they can too. Two guarded people can’t really get to know each other.


  2. My sense from your writing is that your intuition knows clearly all the things you are trying to repress or bury.
    What would your life be like if you followed your intuition on a one-week experiment?


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