I just want to lie in bed ALL day and do nothing and see or talk to no one but I can’t

If you read this first line and know me then you know this is the OPPOSITE of me my and my nerd. I wake up first thing in the morning and jump out of bed. Yes, I am literally one of those annoying people (well unless I have been out late and/or did not get my perfect hours of sleep) I love being around people all the time!

Today oh my I don’t want to do anything on my to do list on my to “be” list or even get up for tennis wow unheard of. I think it is the whole concept of you want what you can’t have i.e I wish I had straight hair and was tall. When I am in Texas I have no bed and no fluffy down comforters to curl up in. I am on a futon (which I tried to doll up to my standards with foam and down toppers, in a friend’s bed sleeping with 3 dogs, or my new stretch an air mattress in my Dad’s living room. I can’t sleep all day or lay here in bed and relax or read even if I wanted to the main thing is missing A BED and privacy.

I woke up this am just wanting to sleep all day you know how we used to kick it in college? Instead I am sinking in the middle of an airmatress with my Dad, his nurse, his careprovider all asking me questions about our ER visit the night before (more about this later) and trying to engage me in conversation. I can do this I can “be” loving and open and caring. My being inside wants to run get a hotel room lock myself inside and do nothing. I can’t lie and say I am doing awesome and slept well etc.  The problem is when I am at home and have my bed and privacy I spring out of it every morning loving to connect with other be out and about and of course active  outdoors and playing tennis. This just drags on this uncomfortableness and unmotivation day after day I am here until I am fed up and want to explode and am counting down the hours till my plane ride home.  And this is only day 2….

Ok, Ok, I am not going to be a complainer all day it was just what was coming up for me this am before coffee and checking our whatsapp and blog for inspiration. Better I vent on here then to those im here in person with right?

This past week I have been working on goals I have been brainstorming ideas for my next blog post and I have been studying for my test. Nothing on making additional revenue or taking on projects.

One of the best things that happened to me this week was connecting with a guy who is a member at my gym who is in a similar space that I am in professionally where we have something successful built already and want to venture in this “creative play” type direction with the end not so tightly defined. We met for coffee and he told me about his pilgrimage he did Camino de Santiago in Spain and we chatted about “being” and creating space all the advanced ed type things and tedtalks etc that I love talking about but you can’t really with people outside of it to the same extent. I totally look forward to hanging out with my new friend when I get back way more so then anyone I have been on a date with in the last few weeks.

I love how I am building a community of people I choose to surround myself with ummhnn you guys and others who are living intentionally (name of book I am reading now)  Now I just need to create a dating pool of guys that live the work 😉

And the best for last….juicy bites after lots and lots of appetizers!  So make a long story short my Dad’s nurse of the day gave him a wrong injection of his diabetic medicine when he was not supposed to have it.  This led to us going to the ER. Bad things: the nurse is clearly not a rocket scientist, I had to drop what I was doing rush home and kept me out all night.  Good things: I was nice to him. I was even told him it was ok everyone makes mistakes. I did not get upset and instead stayed calm and told my dad not to be upset with the nurse the order may have been confusing and we were just going to be safe and go to ER. I made this family time for us. While we were there I played all my Dads favorite music on my laptop and played the name that song game with him the whole time. So this actually turned to time spent together being which was one of my goals not doing because if we were at home my Dad ususally just goes to his room and bed only waking up to eat but not for much longer maybe an hour. Instead we got a few straight hours together.  After we went to Whataburger and I ate whataburger with him and I as so hungry (or stressed) that I not only ate mine but his leftover as well  ALL WITH NO JUDGMENT for those of you that know my battle with my Dad and his eating and how I eat and my judgments this is BIG.  WINNING…I’m out!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “I just want to lie in bed ALL day and do nothing and see or talk to no one but I can’t

  1. Wow, you are handling a LOT and it can really really weigh on you. I completely understand wanting to hide out in bed!! I definitely would! I can only imagine how much this means to your dad whether he can understand or express it or not.

    And as for the guy at your gym – I don’t get it…could he be a romantic prospect??? Or is he unavailable…I couldn’t tell by what you said, but I do know you’re excited about him!

    Hang in there in Texas and hope to see you really soon to hug you.

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  2. Oh my gosh, this was so great to read–I love what you created with your dad during the ER visit. That’s the work at work and you are so right to acknowledge yourself for it–what a showing of emotional maturity and strength!

    And you get to complain sometimes; it’s hard.

    I want Whataburger so bad now.

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  3. Oh my gosh, this was so great to read–I love what you created with your dad during the ER visit. That’s the work at work and you are so right to acknowledge yourself for it–what a showing of emotional maturity and strength!

    And you get to complain sometimes; it’s hard. P

    I want Whataburger so bad now.

    Like

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