Week 3 

Friends. 

  1. Weird energy this weekend… my small group and Eliane especially talked me off the ledge on Sunday… i think i was having a minor panic attack looking at the next year.  it seems every aspect of my life is in transition, and i’d gotten into a fear spiral.  once that was halted, i started to see places where i can shape my future, and that felt like a real life line.  i also had the empowering realization while talking to Mara (all of these wonderful wise listeners in this group) that i have been telling the Universe that i don’t want my life to change so quickly and i want things to slow down, and then wondering why my job search feels slower than i would like… so, I’M READY FOR BIG CHANGES, UNIVERSE!  BRING IT ON!  Quick as a bunny!
  2. I’ve been substitute teaching, and i need to somehow release my guilt on days i choose not to sub in order to focus on job searching.  i need some income, aad this has been incredibly helpful, but i also am much less productive, energetic, and  brilliant on nights when i get home after yelling at 6 year olds all day (they’re cute as buttons, and deaf unless you’re speaking at the booming range).  My major life goal right now is to get a job, so i get to be creating the time and space for that to happen.
  3. I listened to a recording of a coaching call i had this summer, and it was super helpful. One of the things i said is that i hide (i can hear you saying “duh”); i don’t share when hard things are happening in my life and I don’t share/celebrate when good things are happening.  i’m recommitting to working on that.
  4. I am working out 5 out of 7 days (go me!) and meditating (reading spiritual prayer, writing a meditation prompt, Choprah) every other day.  It feels great to have a spiritual practice again.
  5. While i started this cycle slow, i have had at least one networking meeting that has involved a possible position in the last two weeks. i also looked up Toastmasters and am scheduled to attend on Thursday, and i’ve started planning my Public Hralth course for a local org which i will be lowercase “p” presenting to them on Thursday.  
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4 thoughts on “Week 3 

  1. This entry made me feel so let in to what you’re up to right now. My question is why “lowercase” present this project to them?

    Public health is your thing right? Are you scared to invest more emotional effort into it?

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  2. Thanks V. My intention with the lowercase “P” thing was just to convey that its a casual meeting over coffee. I am developing a scope of work and sharing my intentions, expectations, and hopes for the program I’m developing. I’m grateful that you ask the question, though, because I know there are ways that I can come to them more excited and prepared. Thanks.

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  3. Good revelation, E!! That is huge. Do you feel really ready for big changes? Anything holding you back??

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    1. Yes! I am still holding myself back! I do not ask enough tough questions, I am afraid that things will conflict, that something else will come up, that I will have to choose, so I put on a shroud of irresponsibility in which I stop taking action, slow down, and hope that things will work themselves out INSTEAD OF WORKING THINGS OUT. I am recommitting to noticing when I have stepped outside of the umbrella of personal responsibility for my life. I recommit to asking questions, and creating the outcomes that I want.

      to reiterate, I want:
      1. A job
      2. To move in with my partner
      3. To rule the world.
      4. A puppy

      ok, you get the point : )
      Thanks Nay.

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