Integrity – Just Do It

It’s hard to love yourself when you are out of integrity.  I know, I know – this cycle is about experiencing unconditional self-love.  But certain patterns have become more and more self-evident.

I have noticed a pattern at work.  I start a job, I’m excited, they’re excited about me.  I work hard, I look for ways to contribute, to grow, I take risks.  I’m happy.  They’re happy with me.  I have found a space for myself and feel somewhat settled. Then I get complacent.  Complacency leads to boredom and then on to paranoia.  I start to hide, I isolate, I no longer take risks.  I procrastinate, I push off things I don’t want to do.  I try to get back on track and tell myself that I can turn the ship around, and regain the honeymoon feeling.  But the weight of being out of integrity is heavy and real.

It’s clear, nothing works when I am out of integrity.  What I resist, persists.  It’s that simple.  So I get to do what I know to do.  Despite all the “pleasure” I get from avoiding the things that I don’t want to do.

Goal check:  Affirmations feel nice and I’ve been doing them right when I wake up and before I go to bed.  Thanks to my buddy who recommended free affirmations.org. – I selected 20 that I connect with.  I am feeling the pain of being out of integrity and am pushing myself to set up goals and to do the things that I have been avoiding.

Do I feel like I am enough and love myself when I am out of integrity?  I would be lying if I answered in the affirmative.  But I’m getting there, creating a new possibility…

 

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2 thoughts on “Integrity – Just Do It

  1. JB,

    1. I think that honeymoons are over-rated. You used to put more effort in, join the club. The excitement of a new job has faded, but now you have experience and can create a different kind of impact. Hone in on that.

    2. Don’t beat yourself up for the above.

    3. Self-love nugget: you’re figuring it out. Practice makes better (Cause perfect is a trap for the mind, See Malie’s post from today).

    Like

  2. In the second paragraph you write about a pattern as if it’s fact. Like this is who you are. Adding the word “historically” before that at least gives you the space to move forward from this observation.

    It’s time to read “The Four Agreements”, either for the first time or again. The most important of the agreements is to always do your best. Our best is not always equal from one day to the next, or even hour to hour and so on. Therefore, just because our best wasn’t our “all time best”, it doesn’t mean we are out of integrity. Remember to look for the small wins and build upon them.

    Like

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