Hadar – Week 3

Tonight I started to pull together the basis for an article/blog post based on an idea that’s been kicking around in my head for a while and even relates to my work. It felt good to start putting the thoughts down on paper (well, so to speak), and to make progress on one of my goals.

I realized during my buddy call this week (thanks E!) that I was in such beat down that I didn’t even want to talk about what was going on with me. I was hoping to avoid it, but my buddy called me out on that and we discussed it. I realized that I had been doing quite a bit of what I intended, and I also realize now that my goals are far more being-oriented than usual. The habits I’m looking to shift (reform) are deeply ingrained and can’t be turned overnight…nor are they habits that some part of me wishes to change. That means I’ll be fighting myself as I pursue these goals, and instead of being in beat down for not succeeding, I’m heretofore declaring that I will celebrate my successes.

I HAVE been complimenting people, and I enjoy it. I HAVE been saying my contract in the morning, and to be honest, there’s still a weirdness to saying it while looking at myself…I find it really distracting from the intention I wish to imbue in the recitation. What’s more, I find, that there’s a reality I have to face and live with when I do that…my contract isn’t just words, it’s my contract, it’s me, it’s my mouth and face uttering it, and my mind and body that has to live up to it.

While work had some ups and downs this week, it ended on some good notes. I hope to have a 2nd honoree for my big event in the Spring, I helped a new colleague learn some of the admin ropes related to running events, and I devised a great agenda for my committee meeting tomorrow night. I also arranged for a law firm to host us at their offices, and they’re even sponsoring beer for the group – nice touch!

This weekend was baller in so many ways, not least of which was coming off of a fun game night on Thursday! We were fortunate to connect with another couple that went through IVF and invited us over for Friday night dinner – we had a chance to get to know these people for more intimately and they were open books regarding the process. For both of us, this was a great way to learn about some of what is yet to come. Additionally, Naomi reviewed with me the information she has received to date and we’ve started to divide responsibilities for tasks going forward. Despite her intense workload, she’s been carrying the lion’s share of communication and tracking, and I’m glad to be able to take on some of those responsibilities going forward.

Shabbat lunch was a wonderful catchup with old friends (former roommate and we were each other’s groomsmen). Saturday night Naomi and I joined M&E at Prohibition for an amazing 80s cover band, and we stayed pretty much until they closed the place down. Today (marathon Sunday), we spent about an hour cheering people on as they hit mile 23.5, a brutally long slight uphill before the final adrenaline kicks in, and we gave away as much energy as we could cheering on the runners, including 2 from ALP 5, some UWS friends, and some work friends.

When I sat down to write this blog post, I felt a weariness and guilt about needing to report on this week’s failure’s. As I started to write, I shook off those feelings – I got to write about some amazing things that I’ve been up to, and I’m committed to keeping that feeling going this week. When I’m thinking positively, I naturally compliment others. It’s a fantastic mirror for how I’m doing; not complimenting = opportunity to shift.

Wishing everyone a great week!

PS – at 90 seconds on my planks…and it hurts like a mofo.


2 thoughts on “Hadar – Week 3

  1. Love this!

    I would argue that you are super astute. You might not realize that because it comes so naturally to you. My guess, your targeted compliments go a long way for others.


  2. I like the energy of this post, it seems upbeat and as if you’re in a mindset to make real progress.

    Goals focused on “being” pose a challenge, because they don’t really fit the traditional PSP model (which is designed for tangible goals, such that the “being” is more the “how” of getting there). To fit the PSP model, you’ve got to add in a “doing”–i.e., saying your contract–which flips things around to Do, Be, Have. I mean I can relate to looking in the mirror saying your contract and feeling like you got taken out of your experience. When I force myself to write or sing, it’s doesn’t really flow. When those things are instead prompted by inspiration, it does, because I started with “being” first. That’s caused me to realize I’ll have an easier time if I connect to inspiration first–probably still some doing involved there, like listening to a song or looking at a photo–but it’s something I’m going to try.


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