Irresistible Chickens

I’m going to skimp on the mood update this week but will say that I’m still struggling and seriously considering going back on meds. I’m working on not framing it as a failure but rather as an experiment from which I learned a lot. And boy, do I like the idea of feeling more balanced and not feeling like I’m going to cry at any moment.

On the job front, I had a great 2nd interview today with the two other employees of the company for which I’ve been prematurely counting chickens. I’m feeling really excited about this opportunity. Again, I’m trying to I’m not to count those chickens, but damn, it’s hard. I also have an interview on Monday with a different company for a job that I just applied to yesterday. Feeling good about being in action and makes things happen.

I think I’m doing a pretty decent job with creating play/fun even with all the mixed emotions. I have a second date tonight and have been noticing that I have all kinds of stories around worthiness with this particular guy. I get to gate check those mofo’s and create fun tonight!


3 thoughts on “Irresistible Chickens

  1. I want to comment on the mood update.

    I am so proud of you for exploring and trying. It is hard and confusing.

    My family considers itself to be very pro-life…as in, we believe in doing whatever must be done to enjoy and live a full life. As part of that narrative, some members are on medication and plan to be for life. I have been blessed by them when I needed them. I take a lot of pride in this.

    You should clearly do whatever works for you but I want to share my perspective on medication. I am a firm believer that there is merit in being self-aware (realizing what you are or are not good at/what you know or don’t know) and being resourceful. It was taught to me as a sign of wisdom. I think medication falls into that. I feel privileged that I live in a time where medication can improve my life and those of loved ones. For me, going on anti-depressants allowed me to stop battling my brain. At the time and still now, I felt proud of myself for finding a doctor and taking care of myself. It opened doors to healing that I otherwise could not have accessed. It also allowed me to stop being angry at the obstacles I was facing and at my emotions for hindering progress.

    Again, do whatever works for you!

    I am curious – why would you frame this as a failure? Can you tell me a bit more about the struggle you are facing?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really appreciate your perspective on this. This is one version of “pro-life” I can get behind! I know it wasn’t serving me to view going back on meds as a failure. I think I like the idea of not needing them but I know there shouldn’t be a value judgment on it if it makes life easier, which it does!


  2. I love how you’re focused on the positive here – framing your experiment as just that – an experiment.
    Like Libby1114, I have family members who are on regular meds and are thankful for the capacity they offer to function as normally as they care to (it’s still my family, we’re going to be unique in one way or another).

    Congrats on the interviews – you’re a rock star…of course they’re going to like you & same with my date dude!


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