Whew, what a week.The good!
– Naomi is off of injections for a little while. We went in today for the retrieval procedure…I’m not going to give too much info here for a number of reasons, but we remain hopeful for good news over the next few days.
– On Friday I secured a co-honoree for my big work event. Not the same one that I thought we secured a few weeks ago and who later was unable to confirm for this year, but another big name just the same. I’m hopeful for what that could mean for my Division’s fundraising this year. I’m also relieved a bit as my supervisor continues to point out that we need to raise serious dollars this year.
– My grandmother is off tomorrow to Israel. She came for a summer visit and then had a number of health issues arise, which has kept her here long since she was due to return this past August. Thankfully, tomorrow she is finally feeling well enough to travel once again. This summer’s incident aside, she has an amazing amount of energy for an 87 year-old and is incredibly mentally sharp.
– My supervisor got really annoyed at me for what he deemed to be poor communication…just when I thought I was getting somewhere! I could get defensive, I could point out any number of reasons why I think he’s unjustified in what he’s saying, but then I’m missing the point and denying his perspective and his feelings. Ultimately, there’s more to be done.
– The person who had initially agreed to work with me on the CharityProtest.org website backed out citing a desire to channel his energy to other initiatives. This has put my work on hold until I can find someone new to work with me.
Okay, but how am I feeling about all of this?
I really appreciated the comment by JBG at our small group meeting about not being attached to results. I struggle with this concept because I generally feel that isn’t how world operates: rewards, promotions, etc. – all rely on results. Getting a raise or a promotion depends on generating results from my work & donations for my organization.
Similarly, and with the current process Naomi and I are going through, it’s stupendously difficult not to be tied to the outcome. I can honestly state now that I will be incredibly devasted if it turns out negatively. Can I pick up the pieces? Sure. Can we try again? Of course. But I’ll be incredibly devasted nonetheless.
I acknowledge that there are the times when the journey itself has meaning; there are times when despite my best intentions and most stringent actions I hit a wall. Sometimes things simply aren’t meant to be. In those times, the effort and more so, the commitment mean the world. Simply giving something my all can be its own reward.
I’m not looking to end my post with a negative vibe. I have high hopes for the news we’re to receive later this week of the initial results. My point is only how difficult it is for me to separate my intentions and effort from my results, and any thoughts and suggestions on how to accomplish this are most welcome.
Peach and love,