Stream of Consciousness. Let’s get it out in the world.

Last cycle I picked Friday to blog so continuing with Friday as my day this post is two days late.This week I worked with my caregiver life coach for a session, meditated consistently and have been listening to a personal growth podcast. Below, I am sharing a stream of consciousness writing on my core values and life map that I have been working on for my being this week. (warning longest post to date)

Core Values

  • Health and Well-being including Physical and Mental: important to me because I have been a witness to two both of my parents personal health decline and I define health and well-being as a whole approach that encompasses fitness, being active and nutrition as what I’m learning about myself through awareness of my emotional journey and positive mental health.
    • This aligns with me as I keep myself in good physical shape, eat well, stay active and am working on my mental health consistently to grow to next level.

      (8) Enjoyment/happiness is important to me because I want to enjoy my life and free time and be able to choose what I spend my time doing. I get enjoyment out of my independence to act in terms of my own time schedule and flexibility to travel whenever.

  • This aligns with me as I structure my days doing what I love doing which is playing tennis and being flexible to take care of my Dad and travel.
  • (5)   Love- I want my life to be full of love. I want to share love with family friends and others. I value my relationships with people and love them.  I want to share my love in a romantic partnership and find my partner for life.
    • This aligns with me partly. I have several friendships I value that are full of love. I need to create an intimate relationship that I can be loving in and find a partner for life.
  •      ( 7 ) Family and Community/ tribes of people I surround myself with. I want to be involved in communities and families a larger group and purpose bigger than my self.
    • This aligns with me as I am a member of  3 communities tennis, fitness and personal development. I am also spending lots of my time and resources with my family my Dad and nephew. I can improve spending time with the rest of my family and come from a place of abundance not scarcity. I would also like to be part of my own family whether that means marrying or partnering with someone who has family values and family activities to be a part of and who can join my family as well.
  •     (7) In spirit– Personal Growth and wisdom to learn more about myself and spiritual beliefs. I want to be always learning growing and finding meaning. Including living with intention and purpose. To be intentional about what I do and working or building towards something and being of service to others to help them reach goals.
    • This is the meat of what I am working on now to grow and learn more. I love surrounding myself with people looking to do the same or who understand.
  • 36 out of 50- Potential

My priorities have shifted a bit with me taking on my role as a caregiver. My priority has shifted to my father and relationships. Possibly my role as a Caregiver sped things up as I am looking at the full circle of life. The take away is I get to work on something shifting from a pain point to a pleasure point or inspiration point.

When I picture what love looks like to me (my relationship contract) when I find this partner I see and feel: joy, laughing, championing for one another, someone I can depend on, a net safety, family, integrity, connection, alignment, Friendship, compassion, acceptance, understanding, support, strength, empowerment, involved, growth towards something; to have open honest communications; to trust love and understand each other for who we are.

Lifemap:

Past

  • went to live with Dad before 4th grade achieved safety from stepdad and mom stability resources to grow up
  • went out on my own when my dad lost his job and our house I moved in with a friend got my own place
  • put myself through college by myself
  • Starting working in nightclubs had a work hard, study hard play hard life going
  • Degree in journalism sports
  • Transition shift to how I can get out of this lifestyle
  • Law school
  • New York
  • Mom died/half sister went to jail
  • Shifted to Aunt for my Nephew my stepsister went to jail fight for rights for sister
  • Attorney
  • Recreated myself
  • Fitness
  • New Business
  • Recreate myself plan take risk
  • Business partner/Relationship broken confidence
  • 5 loving relationships with partners I have lived with and intent to be life partners
  • Don’t’ have to work day to day finally made it
  • started a business
  • quit my attorney job
  • Left behind stable income

 

Past Cycles:

Cycle 5 Goal 1: Start New Committed Relationship; Goal 2: Additional Money $1,500

Cycle 6:Goal 1: Being Empowered Throughout The Caregiving Process for my Dad During Dementia, Aging And Ultimately Death; Goal 2: Improve my Retail business and put it on the path to create profit

Cycle 7: Goal 1: Taking my Crossfit Level 3 Certified Trainers Course; Goal 2: Look for opportunities to create moments to make people feel special.

Cycle 8:Goal 1: Take steps to establish my Travel and Fitness Professional Persona; Goal 2: Have fun making some side money. It’s a game. Games are fun. Take on one side project. Other things I did do: Dad in nursing home, find new apt to live in,  started and had an amazing relationship, Making additional money from loc investment, now I have sources for retail.

Present

  • Not having to work anymore fulfilling my dream six weeks off
  • Travel
  • Tennis
  • Dad
  • Bought New Apt
  • break free of past
  • Tennis tournaments
  • Best shape like when I was 23 best year can fit in clothes from this year
  • Thoughts
  • Shifted my paths from fun, to education, to making $$, to fun to lawyer
  • Like to prove myself that I can do anything even when people say I cant
  • Shifted to a path of personal growth to acquire new skills what was working for me before is not working now
  • Shifted to caregiver Dad
  • Caregiving
  • Inspiration as business owner and impacting people
  • Looking for love
  • I have learned I take risk, I like to prve people wrong, I don’t back down, I am a fighter and have come back from lots of things

I need to become compassionate, empathetic, determined, uncomfortable, stretch myself, open, authentic and creative to get to the next level.

I want to feel and do in future: Celebrate, Inspire, Grateful, Loving, Excited, Heck yes! Generosity, Pleasure, Vibrant, Brazil, Argentina, Australia, Croatia, South Africa, Tennis Open tournaments, Fitness Travel Show, Partner/Marriage, Family, Growth Personal Spiritual, Give Back, Surrounding myself with people who have been where I want to go.

I could play a bigger game to impact more people in the world. Look at what that led me to full of mistakes and maybe things that didn’t go perfectly right but I got to experience what it was like to go to that other side of jump. In relationship I am enough. I am giving is enough.

Vision: Dad interruptions: move through it in a differently choice, clarity, who and what I am accountable to my self

Live my core values with my Dad

This week look at how my core values align with being a caregiver ….

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