I actually got a flutter in my stomach as I was pulling up the wordpress to post. I am listening to Thomas’ new song as I write, and I just talked to my buddy, so I feel absolutely surrounded by team 9.
Goal 1: Integrity/Ways of Being
- meditated once
- started an integrity life list
Goal 2: Financial
- googled “APR” and texted Hadar about recommendations for a 0%APR roll over thingy. Hey, you have to start somewhere.
Last week when we started this cycle, I had vertigo, which quite viscerally felt like the ground was moving beneath my feet. Which was perfect, because it felt like every other aspect of my life was wibbly wobbly too. All I could hear was a reel of my anxiety and victim story and the message was fear, failure and loss.
Somewhere in there I had some helpful thoughts.
- I have not been happy and I want to be.
- Are hard things happening to me at a higher rate than happy things, or am I just paying more attention to the hard things?
- If I pay more attention to the happy things, will I start to notice more happy things/ will I feel happier?
And then I decided to start looking for Miracles. Because actually I don’t just want to be fine. I am tired of surviving. Miracles are out there, and I want them. I want to find one a day, and so I will. I want that to be my dominant story (because I’ve been telling the hard story, and I am sick of hearing about it). So far, it has started to change my relationship with my partner (I am supporting him. It actually burns a little (in my chest, weirdo!), but its not as painful as before). I am creating miracles, too. Yesterday I had an absolute blast taking a homeless man out for dinner. His name was Justice.
The Miracles are coming. Hehehe.