Trusting the process

I am loving my self-acceptance goal. It’s practical, feels good and opens up new possibilities. I set the stage for it like I have with many of my past goals…I told people I was doing it, decided to start catching myself when I experience a non accepting thought in order to shift my narrative, and asked for those in my life to watch their language as well. For good and for bad, I find attitudes and perspectives to be contagious. Knowing that helps me set myself up to succeed. Getting a special someone on board – who has a particularly self-deprecating attitude – has helped 🙂

Being open and forgiving of myself has supported my career-oriented goal.  It doesn’t hurt that this week my therapist tied almost all of my anxieties and freak outs related to my career to my nuclear family – past and present. That narrative, true of not, was very liberating. It eliminated a ton of my guilt and shame around this process (for now, at least). Don’t worry, I still didn’t trust the process so I asked around for feedback and apparently the narrative holds up. This motivated me to look back at the results of my personality tests which allowed for some deeper feedback. While I didn’t complete my goals for this week, I did shift in how I feel about them. That goes a long way in my book!

I’ve been looking for patterns within my narratives about myself, which is a natural extension of my emotional comfort zone. I keep going back to my occurring world of ‘not being good enough’ (perhaps born from having a parent reject me as a child?) and my total comfort to question my capabilities and capacity. Almost regardless of the issue, I will bring it back to either how I have not done enough, or being flawed in some way. Definitely useful data.

I am pretty sure these two goals are tightly linked and will lead me down a much healthier path. I am very grateful for the current calm in my life – healthy family, improved marriage, better job situation – which has granted me the space to tackle these major, massive goals. And of course, you guys.

 

 

 

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