Going for it

I had a wonderful chance today to join the current LP for ropes. I love this day because it matches my love of adrenalin-pumping physical challenges with the being challenges of the training and mini-opportunities for coaching. Because my role was to support the LP, I focused out and was able to find times when I noticed things I could add and ways to be with people. 

I’m proud of how I was with the group more than how I myself did on any of the challenges. I’m also proud that I was both patient with myself and with the trainer who has a proclivity for talking, which has been known to get on my nerves in the past. As is always the case, he wasn’t any different, just my me and my perception of him shifted -> food for thought about how I judged him in the past and who else I similarly judge. 

One topic that came up during the day was about being in relationship with others, needing trust and intimacy, and those moments that demonstrate one cares for the other. As it happens, Naomi and I had a wonderful 3+ hours Sat night as Shabbat was ending when we sat on the couch to catch up for a bit and it turned into a mutiple hour far-reaching conversation. Perfect moment!

My supervisor at work, with whom I have a semi-pleasant and semi-contentious relationship has been away half of this week. Before he left, he made a concerted effort to speak with our team in a nice tone, which is something he struggles with. I noted it the first time he did it and he replied that it was an effort he is currently focusing on. I told him that I would therefore acknowledge him each time he exercised self-control and spoke to us in that same civil and more positive tone. Suffice to say that between Monday & Tuesday I acknowledged him quite a few times, including in front of the rest of the team to make them aware so that we can all practice positive reinforcement. I truly hope this lasts, but even if it is a mixed bag between this and his former ways, that would still be a welcome improvement. I don’t know what sparked this initiative on his part, but I’m going to do my best to support it. 

In terms of my other goals, I’m continuing to read more and practice guitar more. No specifics, but I’ll send Thomas a recording of my cover of Won’t Back Down. 

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4 thoughts on “Going for it

  1. “I’m also proud that I was both patient with myself and with the trainer who has a proclivity for talking, which has been known to get on my nerves in the past. As is always the case, he wasn’t any different, just my me and my perception of him shifted -> food for thought about how I judged him in the past and who else I similarly judge.”

    This really hits home for me in my personal interactions with others. I respect authority and leadership; however, I sometimes get defensive and impatient with leaders who I perceive as “boasting;” “self righteous;” and/or “do as I say not as I do.” I sometimes forget to be source in these instances. Your descriptions and how you are choosing to be and perceiving these people you are talking about are lessons for me. On occasion I have some “what would HKWeiss do in such and such instance… Thank you! I also like how you are taking control of your relations with your supervisor. I am really glad that you are sharing these.

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  2. That’s really sweet to read, especially after I crashed and burned today in an interaction with my supervisor, wiping out 3 months of work repairing the relationship.
    😳😖
    It’s an area we’re all working on, me very much included.

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  3. It seems like you have been trying and this supervisor is difficult. I have been thinking a lot about how I could have reacted or better yet interacted better in certain cases with a difficult colleague/boss. Thinking back I wish that I had formed a partnership with a colleague who I trusted in which I would talk to that person prior to engaging the “do as I say not as I do” manager or “I say A he says B or I say B he says A” coworker. I don’t know if it would have always helped but it would have slowed down the reaction. In many cases I would keep things in and then everything would blow up. Again I wish that I had expressed things better in the moment or consulted with others more to ease the process.. Just some of my thoughts in going forward for me.

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  4. I was also thinking.. A catalyst is sometimes necessary. You have been trying really hard with your supervisor. Sometimes I get the experience that you are walking on egg shells. Sometimes change in a certain direction is essential for your relationship with your supervisor, career, and organization and this may be one of these opportunities (even if it doesnt appear that way). It takes two to tango and yes being a leader is essential. However, you may have reached your breaking point. You can always plan better into the future.

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