Trying something new

So my goal for last week was to get my Isagenix stuff ready so that I can begin their 30 days cleanse this week. I have to admit I have a lot of funk about this because I have always judge people who use these types of programs. I REALLY want to loose some weight fast for my graduation and I knew that using something like this could help me get a head start on this goal. I am excited to try it but I still feel a lot of funkiness around it. I don’t really want to share with anyone that I am doing it except for people who need to know (You guys).

The whole weight thing has really been on my mind a lot lately because I have started to feel like sometimes I do things in order to have people like me. I recently connected this feeling to a memory of being in middle school and always getting picked last for teams (I know super cliche). So in my mind, I feel like now I always have to be this amazing leader, giver, creator in order to be liked. I also started looking at how I always have to create this party atmosphere around me and in particular focus so much on other people having fun. Especially girls who I think are pretty. I am sorting through all of these ideas and ultimately I want to be free of any beliefs I have about myself and who I have become due to my weight.

The whole ankle thing has been annoying because it feels like a roadblock but Brandy has been very supportive and I think this week I will be able to get some gym time in.

I have, to be honest, I feel like there was a lot more I wanted to say but I left this to the last minute. I think next week I will have some definitive declarations that I can discuss here and I’m also going to write stuff as I think of it instead of trying to remember it all on Sunday night. I feel a little lost right now but I think I can get on track this week.

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9 thoughts on “Trying something new

  1. What are your judgments of people who do Isagenix? And why is it important to lose weight by your graduation? Is weight loss something you have a long-term commitment to, or is it more about that particular event?

    I think it’s great that this goal is causing you to confront your need to be liked, and who you think you’ve got to be in order to be liked. How is your weight loss goal related to this? To what degree do you feel you’re losing weight for you/because you truly want to v. because it’s what you think you “should” do based on others’ views or opinions?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. As a nurse my eyes have really been opened to why losing weight is important. So this is def a long term goal. I really wanted to loose weight by graduation because last time I graduated I looked really fat and I hate those pics. So short term reasons are vanity and long term reasons is health

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    1. Now that I have been on it for 2 weeks my view point is starting to shift. It has definitely helped me with my relationship around discipline!

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  2. Ditto to what they said plus…I know you want to shift these beliefs about yourself- but what do you want to shift them to? Declaration is powerful. Looking forward to your next post.

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    1. Good point Vanessa, I think I want to stop worrying so much about being liked and it feels like loosing weight is tied to that.

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  3. Echo Hadar. Focus in is looking back or looking to avoid and then thats what manifests. Focus out, look ahead, what is it you want to create, recommit to your vision!

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