What is happiness?

I love blogging. It really helps me process my feelings. It was tremendously beneficial for to me to put my pain into words during last week’s blog post. Naming the feekings and seeing them in writing helped me shift. 

One of my goals is about creating happiness…which was meant to be a fun, light goal. I found a way to make it super serious and intense. I’ve evaluated how I experience and define happiness, compared happiness/joy, and processed how these factors played into my recent meltdowns.

Lessons learned (my favorite lens though which to see things): 

-I have not been living out my true happiness, and therefore have not felt happiness. I want to find a warm and intellectual Jewish communtiy, buy a house, make great friends, build a career that helps the world, and have babies with a loving, supportive husband. This is all in my reach but I have not been working towards that and it has been hard for me. That is also why I realized that taking steps toward my real estate goal (hubs and I went to the bank on Sundat to start the mortgage approval process) is actually fun for me. Living my dream is my fun. I think that’s why I find lectures way more fun than traditionally fun activities, like going to a bar.

– I’ve been letting outside factors (husband, NY, family responsibilities) drive my decisons. Let’s not confuse the reality – I put this pressure on myself; no one else put those pressures there. AE would call this my ‘victim narrative.’ Much of my occuring world lately has not been a reflect of, or in pursuit of my truth or desires. This isn’t bad; I have been paying attention to many needs. I kinda just hoped that fulfilling needs would create happiness and so far that’s not working.

– My life lately is about things that I don’t have yet, so I haven’t been able to enjoy the fruits of my labors.

– I have been working towards a smart, sustainable life. Apparently I need to also have passion. I was not thrilled to discover this, but I’m sure it will be an asset in the longrun.

– I feel drained a lot of the time. I want to switch my framework from ‘fun’ or ‘not fun’ to what ‘exhausts’ or ‘energizes’ me. I stole this concept from Myers Briggs. I think it will liberate me.

– I did do some traditionally ‘fun’ thinks this week. I went to Beauty and the Beast in 3D with two friends, just now skipped my evening activities (laundry and cleaning) to grab dessert with a friend, and, along with other PSP-ers, I am planning a birthday party for a friend. These are all things that energized me 🙂

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3 thoughts on “What is happiness?

  1. “My life lately is about things that I don’t have yet, so I haven’t been able to enjoy the fruits of my labors.” Please be wary of the “I will be happy when…” trap. My understanding is that is not where happiness is found.
    I love the distinction u made for urself about looking for what energizes u. Life is now, life is today. You get to experience being energized and happy today. You get to feel content today if you choose. And you get to go after all your dreams as well.

    Like

  2. The main thing I get from this post is clarity. I think that’s a big deal. I think most people have no clue what they want, and don’t do the work to find out. Plus, once you have clarity, things begin to move.

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  3. Found myself reacting all over the map to this week’s post:

    “I love blogging. It really helps me process my feelings…Naming the feekings and seeing them in writing helped me shift. ”

    Samesies, although I would say that’s writing in general for me, only this is where I do most of my personal writing (or in the draft for my post).

    “which was meant to be a fun, light goal. I found a way to make it super serious and intense.”
    😂😂

    “letting outside factors drive my decisons…been paying attention to many needs…just hoped that fulfilling needs would create happiness and so far that’s not working.”

    What are you deacribing as ‘needs’ here? Is it all the outside factors, other life goals or something else?

    In the last year you switched jobs, started grad school, and were accepted to a prestigious fellowship. Do those count toward the decisions (need or get?), and are they outside factors or driving toward happiness?

    “I have been working towards a smart, sustainable life. Apparently I need to also have passion. I was not thrilled to discover this”

    What part of needing passion in life disappoints you? Was the reaction disappointment or something else (fright, ambiguity, etc.)? What would your preference be here and why?

    “switch my framework from ‘fun’…to what ‘energizes’ me”

    I see this as in line with who you are – great thinking!!

    “I did do some traditionally ‘fun’ thinks this week…all things that energized me”

    Fantastic!! What can you put in place to energize you for each week the rest of the cycle?

    Like

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