Embracing the grunge

Feeling a bit grungy today. I found myself back in suffering mode around not having my career figured out. I’ve been doing pretty well recently with embracing the journey, but today I found myself feeling impatient.

Also, I had a wonderful second date last night and trying not to doubt that because he has not yet responded to the text I sent him this morning. Simultaneously, I am struggling to not get caught up in projections into the future. But regardless of the momentary angst (wanting things to be different at every turn!), I am proud of myself for grounding myself before the date and setting my intention to surrender my attachment to the outcome and just be present and connect and have fun. I left the date feeling like we had really connected and were both liking and appreciating each other, so regardless of what happens in the future, I feel good about that.

I have been finding lots of opportunities to practice surrendering. For one, I usually have a strong desire to have a lot of summer plans, in part so I won’t feel lonely.  I am choosing to let go of my need to have things on my calendar to feel secure. I will allow this summer to unfold and surrender to what it brings.

Regarding my second goal, I have been saying my contract and intentions in the mirror every morning and it continues to feel good. I have been writing down something I like/appreciate about myself before bed most nights. It’s uncomfortable acknowledging myself (even just to myself), which means that it is probably a worthwhile endeavor.

Along those lines, here’s my public acknowledgment for the week: I am brave.

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