Is that right? week 3? Either way, I looked at my psp tonight while on my buddy call, and I’m doing really well. I’ve been writing. I’ve been consistently writing, and putting myself on a trajectory with my writing that i feel inspired and hopeful about. My goal by the 1st check-in (may 14th- how are you doing with your check-in goals?) I was suppoed to have purchased a keyboard for my ippad (which I am using right now and its awesome!), and to write every day for at least 5 minutes in order to get into a writing practice and to process my feelings. I think its been helpful, as i get to process and reframe my experiences during the day. For my second goal, I have not followed through with transferring my credit card balance, so i asked my buddy to support me in a stretch, which I am partly ecstatic about, and partly dreading fiercely… looking for that neutral ground where the magic happens. I’m doing it!
I had a date last night. Its was my first “first” date in a long time, and in the 24 hours prior to it, i kind of panicked. On my way there, I coached myself, focused on how I wanted to feel and what I wanted to create, and it was lovely. I felt really interested in learning about this man’s life, and enjoyed hearing his stories. I noticed more and judged less and shifted quickly. There was one very bizarre moment – he picked a flower and handed it to me as I realized we were walking past the jewelor where J and I had gone a year before to design an engagement ring. I felt like the memory overlaid the experience; it was surreal and stunning and rather beautiful. I did not mourn the past. I walked through it. And then we made out and it was awesome. Hoorah!