I have a gym tutorial class scheduled for tomorrow evening and this morning I got in my 7+ mile run!
What’s funny is that despite getting in the distance I wanted at the pace I wanted, I still almost feel like I cheated myself simply because I chose to run along the reservoir for a good chunk of the mileage instead of the normal path. The reservoir path is fairly flat whereas the park loop has hills, which I elected to avoid today.
The idea that I am holding something against myself ties nicely with the opportunity I have for a breakthrough with my second goal. Naomi and I discussed what was coming up for me and we also compared it to my experience in the original Journey (starting with Basic) as well as the similarities or differences between the 2.
Naomi asked what would allow me to shift and create the opportunities that I want, in whatever industry they may be in or form they may take, and I couldn’t come up with an answer. My gut even went so far as to prefer that I ditch the goal to avoid the heaviness around it. Needless to say, I understood that the crux of her question was how I could move myself to a place where pursuing the activities and the doing around the goal was light and fun for me.
I could not determine an answer, and the benefit of having a wonderfully intuitive spouse and having an openness in communication with that person is that, unlike a coach, they sometimes give you the answer. In this case, Naomi felt and it felt so accurate as soon as she said it, that I need to forgive myself for anything where I may be judging myself – perhaps for lost wages from past years, for knowing that I’m not maximizing my earnings potential now, for any number of things.
I have undoubtedly been making this goal and everything related to it into ‘have tos’ and that has generated an inordinate amount of resistance to pursuing it. Accepting that I can’t change the past is a great affirmation for me, as is knowing that the future is full of possibility. Additionally, that possibility is one that I can chase, I can work to create it, and I can have fun with it…but if I leave it as a heavy have to, none of it will actualize.
So with that, I’m asking for support – anyone have any good self-forgiveness exercises? Thanks in advance!