First goal – going ok. As Brandy wrote, I’m jumping around a little bit, but will be making up some lagging items this week – declaring now to draft letters to fundraiser for the marathon this Tuesday. Naomi and I are spending the holiday weekend with cousins in Baltimore, and will then be at a lake in PA for the rest of the week. There is a 2-day holiday Wed-Thurs this week and we have 13 friends coming with us as well.
I’m committed to being healthy throughout this process, including watching my portions, limiting my overall caloric intake, eating healthily, and getting in exercise.
If anyone has experienced our holidays or Shabbats, you’ll know that this can be a bit of a challenge. Hard-core exercising is discouraged, we have 4 big meals that go one for hours, and a lot of time is also relegated to being in synagogue. The meals themselves are essentially big holiday (Thanksgiving) meals and because they’re in celebration, we usually go all out with yummy food. So…I get to be focused on my long-term goals.
Lastly, a friend suggested I increase my runs to 4 runs a week, and based on how today’s run went here in B’more (I couldn’t breathe it was so muggy, needed to take a 3 breaks!), I am going to increase to 4, but over time.
Goal 2 – picking up the theme of Forgiveness from last week. In Basic I remember so clearly my experience from exercises that had me connect with myself as a child. First, I was destroyed. I bawled the entire break and that’s when Ralph and I first connected – he came over and sat next to me, just put an arm over my shoulder and let me continue to cry away.
My reaction was that I didn’t want to throw me as an adult – all my frustrations, disappointments, failures, and regrets onto me as a child. I had so many guilty associations and negative views that I had to move past.
Some of the issues related to having a consulting business that never took off, delaying starting a family, feeling like I had no career and no clear path or direction in life…in short, I was feeling a little lost, and really didn’t want to impose that future on 3-year old, innocent and full-of-potential me.
Over the next 4 months, I went to work on myself, finding my diamond, being vulnerable and connected, trusting myself, stepping into my courage and with an openness and love for so many new aspects of life.
I connected with not only an amazing Wolfpack, but also with my wife in new ways, and with so many friends and past colleagues who were happy to make introductions and help me with my professional goals.
I reconnected with myself, tuning into what types of work and environments I was most interested in pursuing.
Come 3rd Weekend, I had a completely different reaction – I was lovingly looking forward to another opportunity to revisit myself as a child.
There was a lot of forgiveness that went into this process, as mug as there was for the other items mentioned above.
All this is to say that I have not been paying attention to what lifted me from where I was in Basic to where I ended up on 3rd Weekend. I’ve been casual with many of the ways of being that allowed for my transformation, and as I think of this goal in front of me, I find myself regressing at points: being scared of moving forward, wanting to have it all figured out, not trusting myself to understand it/make the right decisions/finish what I began.
It’s time to return to the ways of being that serve me and halt the side conversations that seek to deter me. I have big dreams and desires, and I get to make them a reality instead of stand in their way. I get to align myself to achieve my goals. Operation goal alignment is hereby underway!