I want to feel like my life was worth it, to create change and to make the world a better place. It is one of my deepest desires and I am sitting in stagnation on this intention in my life when I know that I have the ability to affect change and to help other people and/or the planet. Relatedly, I know that this is the ideal job scenario for me:
1- To be involved in creative work, ideally design
2- To be operating within a progressive environment where new ideas/solutions are wanted not shied away from and if it is within a larger environment that ideas/solutions are wanted (expected) from all levels of the organization. Everyone is creating .
3- To be part of something bigger than myself, effecting change or creating solutions that will positively impact people or the planet.
4- To be part of the leadership of an organization that includes 1-3 above or running the organization myself.
5- To be making enough money to provide for some nice things in life: nice house, nice car, nice furniture, lots of skiing, scuba diving 1-2 international trips per year.
6- To be PASSIONATE about #3, it all is worth it if #3 is something worthy of focusing on and if I/we are effective in creating positive change.
7- To be working with other people and not isolated by myself
8- To be working for an organization that is respectable
I watched the movie Freedom the other week and thought to myself, I would have freakin been part of the underground railroad if I had lived back then. Slavery was so wrong, deeply fucking wrong. That got me thinking, OK, there are lots of things happening today that are freakin wrong, lots of things that get me pretty riled up….and what action am I taking to do something about these things? I try to impact the world around me through small acts every day, it is a focus and I live my life aligned with it. Larger impact though, I haven’t yet fully jumped in to the deep end of that pool……even though I freakin know how to swim and swim really well. In part because I question whether I will be effective in really creating positive change. In part as well because in all honesty there are SO MANY FREAKIN EFFORTS that I think need support and don’t know how to narrow it down. Which one thing is the most important? Worthy of spending a lifetime on? Maybe it is best to consider what it most important to focus on for just now….hmmm. This has got to be something I get clarity on and get clarity on it now. Not being able to decide on a worthy cause should not be something that holds me back from supporting.
My idea for my professional life that has for a long time been brewing is this: Jewelry Design Company (O2TB – which I created an LLC for a year and a half ago) focusing on Out Of the Box designs, something different….not the typical. Cool, funky, beautiful designs… 20-30% of the proceeds benefiting a worthy cause. It really is all about there being an end impact, positive impact on a worthy cause. The passion yes is in the design, but the real spicy passion is in the results….in the impact.
The only reason the above conversation is taking place is because I have shifted on my first goal, to not “give a fuck” what others think. The shift has not been in no longer caring what other people think, rather it has been on auto-focusing on what matters more. …and consistently readjusting the view finder to zoom in on what matters most, everything else is just background. This is not always easy and takes practice, but I am getting there.
The other goal is to put my needs on par with those of others around me. What I am realizing is that the REQUEST is key here for me. There is some “stuff” around requesting for me. It is taking some practice and I have some resistance to it, part of which I understand. Part of this goal is too, bottom line, a challenge when you have a small child. I have had to stop writing this blog post about 15 times since I started writing it…..a diaper got ripped off and a child was running through the house diaperless, water was needed, a chairs was being climbed…etc., etc… The putting my needs on par with the needs of others game will continue to be a game…..it just requires consistent focus, effort and the aquisition of different skills and more effective approaches over time. I guess you could say it is similar to my first goal…..to control where the camera is pointed and to make sure the auto-focus is regularly zooming back in my direct….actually on me.