Whoop

There it is.

1. I have vertigo.  I feel very drunk, not in a fun way.

2. I still showed up today. I worked from home. I made calls and connected with my colleagues.  I had insights. I was patient and supportive.  I did my best, and I’m really proud of that growth. 

3.  I have a 6 week check in on Thursday, and there have been several hints that I will be getting a pay bump (which is friggin awesome because I have a loan coming out of deferment to.mor.row. 

4. Writing goal: major wedding weekend, so i did not write for a few days, but I was present. And miraculously, i was overwhelmed with my love and gratitude for my friend, and did not experience a single moment of self-pity or jealousy, i just loved.  I wrote last night, a long letter to J (which will never be sent). The healing just keeps coming and I keep noticing and healing and then I get to another layer, etc. Tonight I thought about how I would cry when he broke a commitment to me, and he would see that, and continue to lie. The manipulation, man. Just. Wow. 

5. Financial goal: not where I would like to be.  I am adjusting to a different pay schedule, and there were a few bumps in that process.  I’ve also purchased three flights during this cycle, which I’m excited about, but which some would not consider integrity purchases.  Take aways: learn to say no with gratitude and love.  A no is also a yes (to something else).  Overspending is a habit, and spending wisely will also need to become a habit.  And, pay bump on Thursday! 

Love.

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