Near the end but I have so much more…
As for my second goal financial education I complete both books and 90% of the workbooks I declared. I interviewed 3 financial planners and am set to pick one to get on track to create my financial vision so I am happy with this goal. As for my consultations I had one and another scheduled first week of Jan but more importantly I am not alone.
Being open and vulenarble I have stretched and taken on for sure. I have been uncomfortable but I know that there is so much more. I shared my life map as declared and finsihed my tantra course. I have improved communication although far from perfection.
From my life map, I acknowledge what I have accomplished in life thus far especially given some life trajectory shifts and acknowledge what the challenges and what the sources of learning for me were and ways of being that served me but no longer do. I don’t feel the need for people to understand my life map now or get me. As the cliche goes the past does not define me but the major accomplishment is me not being ashamed of it.
After looking at patterns from my life map I see that I have accomplished many things. I created my own life free from abuse and unsafe living turned that around to being Daddy’s little girl spoiled and raised like princess.
I created my own way of life to support myself and pay for college and pay for car payment after my Dad lost his job while I was in highschool and we had a forclosure on our house.
I created a new life in New York for myself as a trial attorney. Moving to the city with only no friends in new york and only a friend in Baltimore. I created a new profession for myself and started my own business.
I created a new way of being and growth to see what was working and does not serve me now and have started on this quest for personal growth and development.
Do I see any patterns? I can create from shit. I just make it happen. I make a choice and there is no turning back.
Does anything surprise me? Yes, how I recreated over and over again. Also, how I was able to share and come out on the otherside still feeling loved. Also, is it possible I have avoided certain things such as getting married for fear of repeating what happened to my Mom? Tough questions I get to look at.
Next I get to discover more of me and how I want to feel and be. Knowing that I can create from shit imagine what I can create from good. I love you all. The discoveries I have made this cycle go beyond the doing and checking things off. I have mades some self discoveries, I have been vulenrable and I have made some mistakes.
The title of my life map “Surrender, chase, love”
I am grateful for all of you in this journey.