VT: Back in the game

Something has changed in me over the past couple of weeks, and I noticed myself building up to it- I am ready to date.

Like officially. Like got a mani pedi and a wax ready. Like 2 dates are scheduled for this week ready. Like slipped my card to a cute guy at Warby Parker ready.

Funny because this was my goal from last cycle, but I am beginning to realize that these cycles shed light on what’s next for me more and sets it in motion.

It’s all attitude. It really is.

As for what’s up for this cycle- still going strong with meditation. And I’ve decided that 60% of the remaining things in PSP are going to be tabled. I also realized that it’s distracting for me to have too many goals/desires to pursue at one time. I would rather get a handle on something that’s top level priority to me and add things when I feel like I can add more.

I’ve learned that I need visual tracking. This is what provides me with encouragement. Employing that one day at a time methodology. Baby steps if you will.

So yeah, that’s a bit of a ramble, but that’s what’s on my mind.

Love you all.

VT

VT: Narrowly remembered

In Orlando, in my brother’s home, feeling incredibly at home.

It’s a nice feeling being around family.

We did a lot today, but the thing that stood out is our time at the gun range.

I have never shot a gun until today. My mom didn’t even let us have supersoakers as children. Yet here Kevin and I were in the range today.

It was definitely an exercise in leaving your comfort zone for me. I was scared and nervous- partially convinced that I’d hurt myself somehow. So much so that I teared up during that first hour.

By the end of it, I was loading my own clip and hitting the bullseye on the target (no exaggeration!). It made me think about doing things that seem scary at first, but then with practice…yeah, it’s a great feeling.

So more of activities that bring that up. Flinging myself forward in a way.

It’s cool.

VT: Me time

I just restored integrity on the chat so here we go.

Honestly, not much to report.

I realize my two other goals this cycle: public speaking and studying Creole have totally fallen to the wayside. And I’ve come to realize that focusing on 1 thing bodes better for success- for me anyway.

I’ve been crushing my first goal of meditation, journaling, and minimizing social media use.

And that is a cause for celebration! So I’m going to acknowledge myself for that.

I love how I look forward to my meditation everyday. It gets me grounded and intentional and I really love that. Having a sense of control over myself and my thoughts. The world is crazy, but I don’t have to be.

I also believe that this will inform my PSPLife goals moving forward: 1 overall theme and breaking down the theme into two goals that feed into that.

I get to spend time at home today and work on my personal to-do list which is really exciting. Looking to do the 1st lesson of FPU and tend to my personal website. Everything else would be a big bonus.

Anyway, love you all.

VT: Nike’s got a point.

Hey all,

Blogging early because I’ll be away for the long weekend. I’ll be camping for the first time EVER, so that in of itself is cause for celebration. I’ve been incorporating new things and people into my life as of late and it’s definitely feeling good. I’m feeling alive and not so boring.

I’m having some interesting thoughts around procrastination and/or lack of motivation and their power to make things seem much more painful/boring/annoying/not fun then they are.

Everyone has that moment when they look at their to do list and a couple tasks just keep getting rolled over from week to week. Or not wanting to go to the gym or someone’s inconveniently timed or located social event. But honestly, getting the thing done or going to the thing I didn’t want to, usually turns out fine. And more than half the time, better than fine.

I went to a Devotional this week (I’m exploring becoming a Bahai) and I had all this resistance because I didn’t know the people hosting it that well and was afraid the awesome vibe that I’ve come to expect wouldn’t be there and it would ruin all things Bahai for me….and on and on and on.

But I went anyway. And it was fine. I was glad that I went.

And time after time of making myself follow through, I realize that enjoying myself through it— that’s all me. The externalities really don’t matter- it’s all how I choose to interpret. Choose to react.

So, I’m going to start running into the resistance. Dancing with discomfort.  All the other potential alliterations for saying I will aim to make courageousness and commitment my default.

As daunting as it seems, it makes my life better. And that’s worth it.

And stats using a happy face analysis:

Meditation 🙂

Journaling 🙂

Minimizing social media :/

Creole 😦

Public Speaking : ]

Have a great holiday weekend everyone!

VT: Cherishing this life

Hey friends, 

Life has been really lovely. I feel like I am on this quiet ascension right now.

Work is really gelling. I am happy going into work every day. It’s not stressful and I am finally feeling valued and confident. I have a lot of fun and laugh with my coworkers. I really am blessed working there.

I am happy with my living situation. My new roommate is a sweetie and I love how cheap it is. 

It’s getting warmer. I am spending time with people that I enjoy. I mentioned how I felt boring in my last entry and have taken some actions to course correct. I am making plans, not flaking, and looking for interesting things to explore.

I attribute all of this to meditation and journaling. 

I am floored by how profound an effect these two practices have had on me. I am more self aware, calm, compassionate, and thoughtful. Just from taking time to get and stay grounded. No wonder we always grounded in Leadership.

Anyway, I am on my way to a public speaking competiton  (on the train composing this- yay WordPress app!) – so working on that too.

Creole. Continues to be an uphill battle, but I won’t get discouraged by my progress or lack thereof. I will be fluent in my lifetime, so there’s no giving up on this one.

Alright boys and girls. That wraps things up for me. Love you all.

VT

VT: Feeling a bit boring

Hey friends!

So in the quest to achieve my goals- I’ve found that I think I’m stretching in ways that are different for me. Being thoughtful. Not making impulse decisions. Working on long term goals.  Etc.

And I was talking to one of my besties last night and was like…man I feel like I’m boring now! I don’t go out or really have a desire to. My life is pretty predictable these days. I’m not dating or feel like it. And I’m like girl-where is your spice?!

What happened to your curiosity, full social calendar, and lust for life? I may be exaggerating a little bit to outsiders, but it definitely feels that way for me.

I feel like I have no edge right now. All I am is impressive, but not necessarily interesting (at least to myself at the moment) and that’s lame.

I am not discounting what I’ve accomplished or what I’m striving toward. I’m just in a space of challenging myself with something that requires more of me. I’m not quite sure what that is, but I’m going to take some time to start trying some things out.

Just because I can’t spend frivolously doesn’t mean I can spend time and money on a hobby or practice.

So yeah…anyway. Goals are going well.  On a 16 day streak with meditation. Been journaling everyday and definitely spending less time on social media which is nice. I’ve been calmer and more appreciative of my life (even with my aforementioned feelings). I noticed a shift in me at work that had a direct positive effect on the relationships that I have with my co-workers which has been STELLAR because before I was in such a place of scarcity and jealousy- it was gross.

Creole is happening, but mildly. I plan on doing a bit more of a deep dive this week.

Speaking is going well. I led a workshop at Toastmasters and visited an advanced club. So check and check.

So overall…pretty good!